well. im going to faint anytime now. feeling so damn dizzy. i dont even noe wth is the reason. why am i so damn weak this year?? having so many different illnesses?? haix. reflux - cant breathe heart and chest pain. insomnia. argh everything la. its worst than before. after eating med felt much better but its worst after i've stopped. and worst than before i even ate any of these medication for gastric. i dunno why is this happening. im always in pain. and for the past one week i spent the night sitting up feeling breathless gulping for air. ppl sleeping soundly at night but for me?? waking up every now and then. well i could not sleep of cux. it sucks okay!!!! sleeping like wad 2 -3 hours per day. i hate such a thing la. wth man. haix. and so many probs. all my dreams are shattered too. i dunno.i have been crying cux im so sick and sad for some reasons. well everything's over i guess. i cant even study well too. o levels coming. one week not doing anth, and i have so many hw to finish in 2 days. 8 essays. isnt it mad. i've done 4 already today. in a rush plus the ans key lol. jasmine told me that the ans key helps la. so went to find and do it. well but my hand is always numb due to this weird sickness. argh=(.. i have to live with it.. went to emergency department at NUH ytd. yea its quite serious i dunno how to describe. well going for appoinment next mon.in the afternoon argh. see cardio specialist again.. haix.
just damn sad cry when i feel like it and when i think bout some of the stuffs that went thru my mind. why everything must end?? no one uds me even till now. even him? nvm. i'll just have to be on my own to go thru every single thing now. im not gooing to blame any1 but thanks to my frens who asked bout me today and those who called to ask if im ok. thanks for ur care and concern though i didnt ans the calls cux im very sick. i'll have to strive hard for everything. i wont hate anyone i guess mayb i will but its of no use i think. wad for?? im so depressed. nth seems to go alright till now. i screwed everything up and guess wad i had a quarrel with my very good fren joson. argh. all his idiotic fault la. nvm. well i'll say sorry to everyone whom i vented my anger on.
IM VERY SORRY FOR THAT EARLY MORNING FOR SCOLDING YOU ALL. IM SORRY. HOPE THAT U ALL WILL UDS WHY I DO THAT. haix.i gotta get well soon that's my aim right now,. to take good care of myself wad ever it is my health comes first.
at flag day today i didnt collect much was more of a slack. i dont even have the energy to stand for long or even hold the tin. its not me right now. i've lost myself already. was with van, meryl, stevie and jasmine., they said i was very sick and looked pale. its obvious i noe. i am. and all of a sudden it relapse. i cant breathe properly again. even till now there's this stabbing pain in my lungs or chest i dunno. its like expanding. nvm. just to say wad ever i do i have i wont harm anyone but i did. i hate myself alot being like this and a burden to my parents too. cost alot of money going in and out of hospital.
i wont give up on anth i have now!! i will treasure. even things that i've lost. i just want to get well soon and to face him. i dun even dare to talk to him already. even if i see him i dun even think i have anth to say. cux its all my fault that i've brought upon everything. i'll learn to treasure ppl around me.
cello/bass pls do not disappoint me. im disappointed at ur performance after hearing from andrew. i;ve failed to make u guys disciplined before i pass out. sobx. disappoint mr poh too. i'll try my best to go back on a few saturdays, but its not realli possible for me right now. ur skills are not tt good. which i've heard. dun think too highly of urself. ur standards have dropped ever since the 3 of us seniors have passed out. pride leads to a fall. dun go too far as long as im still ur senior. dun think u are too good for anyone. respect for leader pls. thanks. dun make me come scolding u guys.
im going to do my hw now. argh.
MONSTER is here.....
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C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
You are at MONSTER's BLOG!!!
To enter the MONSTERRICCC's WORLD...
Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
9:13 pm - Saturday, June 24, 2006
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
June 2006
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A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..