im so happy these few days. lol.i think that's because i have the company of many frens. i seriously thank them for being there for me. and helping me get through all the ups and downs. especially the times when im realli depressed??yeap. so im gradually moving and getting out of the small little circle im trapped in it. yea. this is to tell everyone that im getting better now. talked to mr roland ang. i think its some kind of joke lah. to crap and he's just not so serious. when he's serious he dont seem too. lol. i feel so much at ease talking to him. haha. ok
well though im happy. im having heartburn again. damn pain okay. how to stop that from happening.? i ate my medicines but wonder how much it helps. well i think i should take all 3 of them instead of one.yea. rather confused now. should i just allow fate to bring me anywhere? or to be what i am now? to have happiness and no worries or sorrows? hmmm. im realli in a state of blurness. i dont wish to think of anything. well. my feelings arent really set yet. though im getting out of it. someone just help me? i dont noe wad to do. ???
MONSTER is here.....
navigate using the bars above. Click the PINK bar for entries.
C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
You are at MONSTER's BLOG!!!
To enter the MONSTERRICCC's WORLD...
Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
12:10 am - Friday, August 25, 2006
9:16 pm - Monday, August 21, 2006
tiring day. and i managed to get home due to the fact that i passed the physics quiz thingi. but tt's the last chance for me. argh. did so damn badly for the mcq for 2005 physics paper. like wad. just pass. what the hell. wad's going on with me?? the 1st time i got so damn low in mcq where i always do much better in that section. damn it. anw. i was rather happy from ytd till today. haha. ok. went home late. reached home at 12 plus and then slept at one. and im like all so wrong in everything today. so cant blame anyone but myself for not having enough sleep. hah. had a nice half hour sleep during chinese lesson and i woke up with my forehead damn red.great.im not getting anyone's attention by the way. i blog wad i want as this is my blog. i have rights to do anything right? and im getting on with my life gradually. so thanks to all those who have helped me. with special thanks to- wei ning,joson,li hui, jasmine, shin yun, vanessa,my other juniors, and everyone that had helped me. had lots of fun these few wks.now just seriously needa chiong for prelims and have fun at the same time. kinda weird lo.
was like helping my good fren la to find some place to live in ytd so i came home so late. luckily im in a cab, could then rest a lil in that comfy seat. haha. hope my fren's ok now? yeap. and dun bother them. ur life will get so much better after these few months. at least u still have him to help you thru. isnt that great.? ask him marry u like wad his good brother said. lol. joking. ok. nothing interesting then.cheers and wish me luck for the coming prelims.
CHIONG ALL THE WAY NOW! =)
was like helping my good fren la to find some place to live in ytd so i came home so late. luckily im in a cab, could then rest a lil in that comfy seat. haha. hope my fren's ok now? yeap. and dun bother them. ur life will get so much better after these few months. at least u still have him to help you thru. isnt that great.? ask him marry u like wad his good brother said. lol. joking. ok. nothing interesting then.cheers and wish me luck for the coming prelims.
CHIONG ALL THE WAY NOW! =)
9:57 pm - Saturday, August 19, 2006
went clubbing to guess where??? RUSH., had some fun with them-mel.wayne and mel's other frens. kinda fun though. at least i feel a lil better with those loud techno music being played. much relaxed after that. but sth happened. lol.smuggled someone in. which is proed. im the one who ppl think i cant make it. lol. made some new friends, came back at 7 and then bathe went to slp and wake up do some maths hw, and slp again. sms, talk on phone to chat. so bored. didnt go town today. quite sick. so weak la. and to my best friend i will try to recover its not easy as u think ok. lols. wont drink that much. i drink a lil this morning cux im underage kena rejected chop on my left wrist. ok boring life now again. going out tml again. great. wad a day today? nth special. pathetic to me i guess. i hate today.
2:04 pm - Thursday, August 17, 2006
heys im not in school again. woots. and i will be missing oral today. due to a bad sore throat. haha. taking tomorrow and i hope it will be easy. sighs.hope i do well anw. slept till now though i wanted to go to school. but im too lazy and i have mc too. so why bother attending school. cheers. clubbing this weekend. and tt's great. and guess wad. on tue i quarrelled with the school counsellor. oh my. stop thinking you are so great. just come straight to the point and stop beating round the bush thinking you are so good in helping me. btw. u dont help okay. you jus simply suck. making my life miserable. why dont i say. you, teachers and that stupid guy creating a mess in my life. arent you all happy and contended with that?? destroying everything. this totally suck like hell for me. why dont you go thru all these before telling me all ur shit grandmother's stories. im sick of all these alright. just f*** off and leave me alone will you, people?? why dont you think if i were to mess your life how would you feel?
anw. i dont give a damn to anth. just get over with O levels and mayb do some other stuffs. dreams all shattered. wanted to like score damn well but now it seems like its impossible. yea i do badly its ok. not a big deal. but wad. he must do damn well. wad fucking shit is that. NONSENSE OK. i've been like skipping school every now and then. wahaha. and this is called truancy. great. oh great. i just wanna shut down my life and have fun whenever i could.
BLESS ME!!!
anw. i dont give a damn to anth. just get over with O levels and mayb do some other stuffs. dreams all shattered. wanted to like score damn well but now it seems like its impossible. yea i do badly its ok. not a big deal. but wad. he must do damn well. wad fucking shit is that. NONSENSE OK. i've been like skipping school every now and then. wahaha. and this is called truancy. great. oh great. i just wanna shut down my life and have fun whenever i could.
BLESS ME!!!
10:07 pm - Sunday, August 13, 2006
had some hangover this morning before i got out of home to meet onion and wayne. but got over it after some time lol. im seriously weak. i think i gotta indulge myself in drinking before i slp again tonight. depressant makes me slp better? im just back and thanks to joson(the bitch) for sparing me money today. great. im really broke due to the heavy drinking and yea its ex la. to buy everyday dont ya think so? went to lot1 to eat saw many swiss ppl and ask me to have fun. tt's lame ok. when im with my good fren waiting for wayne. so damn long. went to east coast park to study bio. wahaha. ended walking the beach. and then had some fun and headed for town again. like hell. 7 days a week to town and its dead boring. yea. super boring. well den back to lot1 and then home. boring life. i hate it. onion ur realli a good fren and i'll listen to some of it. lol. but bitch i still wanna be crazy. lala.thanks alot.
11:13 am
just woke up and guess what i didnt go to church. =( gotta get some scoldings already. slept at 2 am this morning. at least i feel a lil refreshed now. but well well. not very because i am still not very sober now. i drink very fast. haha. funny. tt's the weird part. i am going to school tml and that's really dreadful and i'll flung the bio mock since i didnt study when everyone is now chioging for the 20 days or sth prelims?? what about me. some slacker. great. i decided to study and end off my O's this yr just to get rid of stupid nothings. im not brainy nor clever just because im and 4e6 ok. why dont u guys look at the mediocre results im getting?? its so 'good' now. haha.in order to let mr lim my form teacher to see 42 GRADUATES THIS YR. i decided to give him some face.so tt is to continue studying. giving me with no other choices, stupid.i dont care wad grades im getting finish it and go ITE. HAHA. and yea giving me some attitude? guess wad. talking to me at the school gate so nice huh? and its like wad everyone's looking at me with that stupid look. as in. what happen ar? why is si en there. and why that teacher is scolding her? not scold but lecture to put it in nicey terms. yay.dont ever try calling me stupid again ok. i have my dignity. i just feel like talking back to him at the point of time. but i didnt. cux im just in a rush la. to meet you wei and pastor evelyn. i made so much wasted trip ok. just to get this stupid 'lecture'. its just crap anw. i didnt get anything in my ears. if i hadnt tell anyone what im going through right from the start on the 8th of JULY nothing of such will even happen. at least i am so much better and i will be si'en that u guys noe. dont call me si' en now. cux im not already. i've changed i think. wahaha. ok so on fri. there are many things to say. but i shall not mention them here.
so ytd the co flag day thingi. its really stupid ok. here my 5 juniors are putting in all their effort and guess what. their tin cans arent filled even to a half. i am really just so disappointed with the people around.obviously not from our section though im disappointed with some of their ATTITUDES WHICH TOTALLY SUCK. well as they dont even see the efforts in them. its ridiculous. i hate it. and there goes other flag days going on too. and btw. its woodlands. what could we do there? its not bout cello/bass not doing well btw. why should we let others despise us?? its just so unfair dont u get it? if you're sincerely from this section. i dont think you'll feel that way. why should we let other sections to despise us? think bout that. we've come so far. from a section without any good skills. being suan-ed and we're not as good as some top schools like TCH, NANYANG,DUNMAN HIGH. and so on. but well. now i dont even hear this for a few yrs during my stay at scco. dont you feel a sense of achievement? i dont think we should let the efforts of our very very good old seniors to waste. they've brought us so far. the 2 of us will noe. namely me and jo. we've come thru the many thick and thins. just that u guys havent gone thru it. its not the amount of money which is in the tins. its the effort that counts. i am the one who saw that ytd. which i haven seen on thursday when i met the section. they're just so diff? they arent slacking btw. thurs was sort of a slack. but NO. on sat it wasnt. its the effort that came in. guess what i noe what effort really means now. so just reflect and think about that. DESPISE US? NO!.think before making any comments. I TREAT ALL OF YOU AS MY FRENS AND JUNIORS. from any section.I TREAT U ALL WITH UTMOST RESPECT AND I DONT WISH ANTH WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN. AS A SECTION YOU ALL MUST STAY UNITED. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. ALTHOUGH SOME PPL WILL NOT. EVEN JUNIORS THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME IN SKILLS. HAHA. I DONT HAVE TO SAY ANTH.
just to mention some stuffs. its not wrong or right to think that you are better than me. i can say that you are better than me at times. but remember what u said. this is of no respect. well ever since sec1 i came in to cello/bass. all the seniors knew the skills i have and even mr poh. but how they treat me? right from the start. that's sec1 basic skills. where i have to learn everything afresh. that' s being humble. and im great i did that. and learn with all my heart. and that's why im always learning and improving in every aspect. mr poh once said. the 2 of us learnt without any problems and that he dont need to teach us like some idiots. as we take up fast mayb that's cux we have music backgrounds? yea. but it doesnt mean to have that we will be good. its the effort and though that we put in. yea. so from then on. i learnt as i picked up and yea i became better but i just feel im not good enough. having juniors being better than me, its better cux i noe where i stand. haha. anw. i dont wish to say how good her skills are. but its better if you just keep ur mouth shut thinking ur so great. even ppl think im good. i dont even say a word or brag around thinking im so good. just be humble, pride comes before a fall. if i rmb correctly. brain not functioning as it is. due to too much of drinking and what soever. haha. mel asked me to go ite with her and pei her smoke that day. lol. just so funny.
im still very weak now. came home like half drunk though i could still walk.but everything's just spinning la. im a lousy drinker. hees~ and slept all the way till now. yea. all i should say is. im already hopeless.im so glad.
so ytd the co flag day thingi. its really stupid ok. here my 5 juniors are putting in all their effort and guess what. their tin cans arent filled even to a half. i am really just so disappointed with the people around.obviously not from our section though im disappointed with some of their ATTITUDES WHICH TOTALLY SUCK. well as they dont even see the efforts in them. its ridiculous. i hate it. and there goes other flag days going on too. and btw. its woodlands. what could we do there? its not bout cello/bass not doing well btw. why should we let others despise us?? its just so unfair dont u get it? if you're sincerely from this section. i dont think you'll feel that way. why should we let other sections to despise us? think bout that. we've come so far. from a section without any good skills. being suan-ed and we're not as good as some top schools like TCH, NANYANG,DUNMAN HIGH. and so on. but well. now i dont even hear this for a few yrs during my stay at scco. dont you feel a sense of achievement? i dont think we should let the efforts of our very very good old seniors to waste. they've brought us so far. the 2 of us will noe. namely me and jo. we've come thru the many thick and thins. just that u guys havent gone thru it. its not the amount of money which is in the tins. its the effort that counts. i am the one who saw that ytd. which i haven seen on thursday when i met the section. they're just so diff? they arent slacking btw. thurs was sort of a slack. but NO. on sat it wasnt. its the effort that came in. guess what i noe what effort really means now. so just reflect and think about that. DESPISE US? NO!.think before making any comments. I TREAT ALL OF YOU AS MY FRENS AND JUNIORS. from any section.I TREAT U ALL WITH UTMOST RESPECT AND I DONT WISH ANTH WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN. AS A SECTION YOU ALL MUST STAY UNITED. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. ALTHOUGH SOME PPL WILL NOT. EVEN JUNIORS THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME IN SKILLS. HAHA. I DONT HAVE TO SAY ANTH.
just to mention some stuffs. its not wrong or right to think that you are better than me. i can say that you are better than me at times. but remember what u said. this is of no respect. well ever since sec1 i came in to cello/bass. all the seniors knew the skills i have and even mr poh. but how they treat me? right from the start. that's sec1 basic skills. where i have to learn everything afresh. that' s being humble. and im great i did that. and learn with all my heart. and that's why im always learning and improving in every aspect. mr poh once said. the 2 of us learnt without any problems and that he dont need to teach us like some idiots. as we take up fast mayb that's cux we have music backgrounds? yea. but it doesnt mean to have that we will be good. its the effort and though that we put in. yea. so from then on. i learnt as i picked up and yea i became better but i just feel im not good enough. having juniors being better than me, its better cux i noe where i stand. haha. anw. i dont wish to say how good her skills are. but its better if you just keep ur mouth shut thinking ur so great. even ppl think im good. i dont even say a word or brag around thinking im so good. just be humble, pride comes before a fall. if i rmb correctly. brain not functioning as it is. due to too much of drinking and what soever. haha. mel asked me to go ite with her and pei her smoke that day. lol. just so funny.
im still very weak now. came home like half drunk though i could still walk.but everything's just spinning la. im a lousy drinker. hees~ and slept all the way till now. yea. all i should say is. im already hopeless.im so glad.
5:04 pm - Wednesday, August 09, 2006
hehs.its cool being alone for some moment yesterday. the breath test was okay. yea no more h pylori bacteria. woots. im so happy. but i still gotta eat well and not drink. haha. i haven been drinking la. only recently. i have not drank for like 16 years in my life but now i do. im going against my own principles. hahaha.lol. smoke??i dont mind if it kills. i prefer being 'myself' in such a way. hee. i dont give a damn to myself already. wait till my body malfunction and i'll be glad.and maybe this will cause more problems to my so called ok stomach now. reflux will come back. i'll get oesophagal cancer for who i care and having more acids being produced in me. lala. i hate to eat medicines. its like hell to me. well its ok already im like used to it. but i've skipped some of them today.had some stupid quarrel with my parents especially my mum. i hate it alot. just because i dont wanna go to school u made a big fuss over it. yea i choose to get out of your life instead of facing your nonsense every single day. u can punish me for all you want. i dont care what you are going to do to me. cane me then if that makes you so much at ease i'll be really glad for you. ha =x. such a pathetic life every single day. it makes me feel like some sicko every now and then.heck then.i told my mum if u seriously want me to get out of this pathetic life. i will just pack my stuffs and disappear from your life. i'll take good care of myself for you info. i dont need anymore naggings and whatsoever. its really driving me crazy. its like wad. teachers, parents and almost everybody.argued the hell out of me.so i said its either me who drops out, get out of the house and live on my own. or you send me overseas to change my lifestyle. i gave her many options. lol. wonder which one will she choose. haha. i dont even see that there's a need to go counselling in the first place shouldnt have gone for those two idiotic sessions. talking crap to her. waste my time and breath. does that help for me?? NO. IT MADE MY LIFE WORST. none of you can judge me ok. I AM MYSELF AND I WANT TO DO THINGS MY WAY AND MY RULE. I DONT GIVE A DAMN TO WHOEVER IT IS. EVEN FOR MY KINS. TRYING TO TALK THE HELL OUT OF ME? DONT DREAM OF THAT!
its like hell these whole month to me. everyone is like going against me? maybe. i just have this feeling. life sucks totally and this friday i'll be telling ms tay on my own that im going to drop out. i seriously dont wanna live anymore. i blame my parents for bringing me to this so called 'wonderful' earth. damn it. everyone's giving me attitude nowadays. well well. no one understands a single bit of me. great huh? im beginning to fail every single thing in life. im forgetting many stuffs now. i mean the good ones. but the bad ones? they came back every now and then. i've been like some panda now. my brain is not functioning well now! i hope the juices get squashed out. i would like to see that. i dont know how to express myself to anyone. that's really me i guess. i just take it out on myself thinking that it'll be great. yes it does to some extent. never mind then. im fated to be in such a state now. i thank everyone for this. everyone that is. and esp him la. stupid right. how i wish i hadnt met such a person who cause so much destruction to my life ever since towards the end of last yr till now. its like now im much worst. someone take a knife and kill me. will you? stop till here then till im so bored to seek this place again.
its like hell these whole month to me. everyone is like going against me? maybe. i just have this feeling. life sucks totally and this friday i'll be telling ms tay on my own that im going to drop out. i seriously dont wanna live anymore. i blame my parents for bringing me to this so called 'wonderful' earth. damn it. everyone's giving me attitude nowadays. well well. no one understands a single bit of me. great huh? im beginning to fail every single thing in life. im forgetting many stuffs now. i mean the good ones. but the bad ones? they came back every now and then. i've been like some panda now. my brain is not functioning well now! i hope the juices get squashed out. i would like to see that. i dont know how to express myself to anyone. that's really me i guess. i just take it out on myself thinking that it'll be great. yes it does to some extent. never mind then. im fated to be in such a state now. i thank everyone for this. everyone that is. and esp him la. stupid right. how i wish i hadnt met such a person who cause so much destruction to my life ever since towards the end of last yr till now. its like now im much worst. someone take a knife and kill me. will you? stop till here then till im so bored to seek this place again.
7:57 pm - Monday, August 07, 2006
haha. i just got home. i skipped physics remedial today. and tt was really great. thanks ignatius for accompanying me today. well i was really depressed and i want to get out of everything i am in now. seriously. i couldnt stand this feeling anymore. people out there enjoying their youth well me being mentally crazy. lol. okok. i'll continue later for the last few days. its really fun out there. haha. ok. yea. be right back. copying JASMINE'S SOCIAL STUDIES NOTES NOW. im damn guai. cheers. tsk
im back. copied half way. heck it man. i dun like doing any work now. so damn bored. watched tokyo drift today and tt was like during phys remedial?? pretended to be sick. lol and i actually was la. i didnt slp for a day. so im so beat now. well i just have so much energy to be awake, funny though. on sat i was like late for piano lessons cux of joson. lol. stupid fren. well. i rushed all the way from bukit timah to sch just to meet him. i thought i'll be early but no i was not. i missed like 2 buses so im late. ok. and both of us negotiated with the guard to allow us in. so after some time. he allowed but told us to get out of sch at 1 which we didnt. so went in and yea to see the juniors and so on. got scolded by ms lim. well its like wth. say tt both of us being seniors shouldnt spend time talking to juniors. haha. ok. but both of them are like tired wad. so i didnt realli bother. so cheryl said i changed alot. ?? yea i realli did. im not myself lately. but i dun give a damn already. all of u meant well for me. and i noe that. but i realli dont bother anymore. that's because many unfortunate events happen this year and people are just selfish for themselves. despite the dead or the living ones. i hate it. bringing so much problems to myself. i thought i was the one who was really selfish. but well im not. im insane. haha. so after co prac. went to wei ning's house to change. and she didnt put on any make up or sth else. im shocked. ok. so the foursome. me joson wei ning and edison headed for town-cine. watched cos play yea. and took some pics. stood there for quite a long time. and then we went in. shopped and yea talked bout cello and bass. den decided to head for the esplanade. so we walked all the way there. its so damn tiring. we stopped wherever we went. to eat drink and looked at cello and so on. tt's cool haha. not tt bored after all. so when we're there we're looking at the nice displays of cello. and whoa. its so damn ex la. one of them looked like the one i was using. quite nice. and then we walked to marina square. didnt expect a huge crowd. well its because of the fireworks. lol. so its like we didnt expect anth but gained sth out of it.hmm. waited for seats at the food court and ppl are so damn inconsiderate. i despise such ppl. and then went for the nice show. haha. fireworks. im quite short so didnt get a nice view. but i still did in some way. hah. escorted edison to the mrt and the trio went back there. decided to thon. and yea we're super lame and bored,. wanted to help clean up the great mess at marina square. lol. we're crazy ppl. so walked around and then to the merlion. its cool there. the sea breeze. and i dozed off first. so quite. haha. for a few min. lol. cux im really beat. walked the whole day. and then im awake again. both of them are having some fun though. some drawings?? im not sure. then walked around bare-footed. and so on ........ so its realli cool staying out at night. i love it. dunno why. actually i just wanna numb myself from everything. im just simply too depressed. and well no one understands such a feeling. with so many upcoming events. so i give up on myself. its either a drop out. or i'll skip as many lessons as i can and just fail everything during O levels and get no where. which one would i choose?? a drop out will be better right? agree? than to see so many lousy grades and just an A1 for chinese. stupid!!and so we ate supper joson's treat and then i treated to take cab to cine. haha. quite broke actually but to get to our destination asap i decided tat we should take cab. slept on the sofa outside ezone. and yea woke up by the guard who wants to chase us. well i slept for such a short while and there he came. argh. ok den played hangman with them. on ms ee. hah/ cool.=) 3 of us are realli tired and i think onion slept the most. haha. and wayne is forever awake though she's tired. ok. took 190 at 6.45 waited damn long. and slept all the way back.actually i decided to go somewhere since its near to lot1 but its too earli so i went home. slept for 2 h den went to church and for some pastoral counselling. den went to cine again. lol. watched click. lame show. and yea while waiting for my sis and church members at the lift. saw swiss ppl and some unwanted guests. haha. wanted to do so much at that point of time. cux in public damn shiok la. but i decided not to. give some face to some ppl. hees.=) and so i didnt bother and just said hi to xin yi. and life goes on.
in sch today. i cried again, stupid right. all mdm tang's fault. stupid teacher. talk bout some voodoo doll. walau. and then my frens knew i have. and then played with it. and den shin yun hung it on my pencil case. and this brings alot of memories la. i held on. and so took it out. and walked back to class on my own. haha. i kept going to the toilet for some stupid reason. to wake myself up. but it dont work. and then i listened to kiss goodbye and started to cry. argh. ok. cux shin yun doesnt noe who gave me tt. onli kah hwee noe i think. hmm. and so after tt. threw it but i picked it from the bin again. and headed for lot one. and tt's it. i skipped the boring remedial and everything in life. i dont like to stay in sch for some reason. im just torturing myself from many things which i know. well its myself to blame. cheers. and best of luck to me and my distorted future. i thank everyone for ur encouragement but im realli very stupid. thanks for ur comments anonymous. i agree to tt. cause i am one. and ur not. ur the smartest person i've ever noe. who doesnt care for ppl at heart but onli for yourself. claps. well i do. so im doing all these fucking stuffs to bring happiness to everyone around me. hahahaha. great life man. tt's all i can say.
im back. copied half way. heck it man. i dun like doing any work now. so damn bored. watched tokyo drift today and tt was like during phys remedial?? pretended to be sick. lol and i actually was la. i didnt slp for a day. so im so beat now. well i just have so much energy to be awake, funny though. on sat i was like late for piano lessons cux of joson. lol. stupid fren. well. i rushed all the way from bukit timah to sch just to meet him. i thought i'll be early but no i was not. i missed like 2 buses so im late. ok. and both of us negotiated with the guard to allow us in. so after some time. he allowed but told us to get out of sch at 1 which we didnt. so went in and yea to see the juniors and so on. got scolded by ms lim. well its like wth. say tt both of us being seniors shouldnt spend time talking to juniors. haha. ok. but both of them are like tired wad. so i didnt realli bother. so cheryl said i changed alot. ?? yea i realli did. im not myself lately. but i dun give a damn already. all of u meant well for me. and i noe that. but i realli dont bother anymore. that's because many unfortunate events happen this year and people are just selfish for themselves. despite the dead or the living ones. i hate it. bringing so much problems to myself. i thought i was the one who was really selfish. but well im not. im insane. haha. so after co prac. went to wei ning's house to change. and she didnt put on any make up or sth else. im shocked. ok. so the foursome. me joson wei ning and edison headed for town-cine. watched cos play yea. and took some pics. stood there for quite a long time. and then we went in. shopped and yea talked bout cello and bass. den decided to head for the esplanade. so we walked all the way there. its so damn tiring. we stopped wherever we went. to eat drink and looked at cello and so on. tt's cool haha. not tt bored after all. so when we're there we're looking at the nice displays of cello. and whoa. its so damn ex la. one of them looked like the one i was using. quite nice. and then we walked to marina square. didnt expect a huge crowd. well its because of the fireworks. lol. so its like we didnt expect anth but gained sth out of it.hmm. waited for seats at the food court and ppl are so damn inconsiderate. i despise such ppl. and then went for the nice show. haha. fireworks. im quite short so didnt get a nice view. but i still did in some way. hah. escorted edison to the mrt and the trio went back there. decided to thon. and yea we're super lame and bored,. wanted to help clean up the great mess at marina square. lol. we're crazy ppl. so walked around and then to the merlion. its cool there. the sea breeze. and i dozed off first. so quite. haha. for a few min. lol. cux im really beat. walked the whole day. and then im awake again. both of them are having some fun though. some drawings?? im not sure. then walked around bare-footed. and so on ........ so its realli cool staying out at night. i love it. dunno why. actually i just wanna numb myself from everything. im just simply too depressed. and well no one understands such a feeling. with so many upcoming events. so i give up on myself. its either a drop out. or i'll skip as many lessons as i can and just fail everything during O levels and get no where. which one would i choose?? a drop out will be better right? agree? than to see so many lousy grades and just an A1 for chinese. stupid!!and so we ate supper joson's treat and then i treated to take cab to cine. haha. quite broke actually but to get to our destination asap i decided tat we should take cab. slept on the sofa outside ezone. and yea woke up by the guard who wants to chase us. well i slept for such a short while and there he came. argh. ok den played hangman with them. on ms ee. hah/ cool.=) 3 of us are realli tired and i think onion slept the most. haha. and wayne is forever awake though she's tired. ok. took 190 at 6.45 waited damn long. and slept all the way back.actually i decided to go somewhere since its near to lot1 but its too earli so i went home. slept for 2 h den went to church and for some pastoral counselling. den went to cine again. lol. watched click. lame show. and yea while waiting for my sis and church members at the lift. saw swiss ppl and some unwanted guests. haha. wanted to do so much at that point of time. cux in public damn shiok la. but i decided not to. give some face to some ppl. hees.=) and so i didnt bother and just said hi to xin yi. and life goes on.
in sch today. i cried again, stupid right. all mdm tang's fault. stupid teacher. talk bout some voodoo doll. walau. and then my frens knew i have. and then played with it. and den shin yun hung it on my pencil case. and this brings alot of memories la. i held on. and so took it out. and walked back to class on my own. haha. i kept going to the toilet for some stupid reason. to wake myself up. but it dont work. and then i listened to kiss goodbye and started to cry. argh. ok. cux shin yun doesnt noe who gave me tt. onli kah hwee noe i think. hmm. and so after tt. threw it but i picked it from the bin again. and headed for lot one. and tt's it. i skipped the boring remedial and everything in life. i dont like to stay in sch for some reason. im just torturing myself from many things which i know. well its myself to blame. cheers. and best of luck to me and my distorted future. i thank everyone for ur encouragement but im realli very stupid. thanks for ur comments anonymous. i agree to tt. cause i am one. and ur not. ur the smartest person i've ever noe. who doesnt care for ppl at heart but onli for yourself. claps. well i do. so im doing all these fucking stuffs to bring happiness to everyone around me. hahahaha. great life man. tt's all i can say.
8:23 pm - Friday, August 04, 2006
haha its long ever since i've updated. well im trying to avoid many things now. esp him. hmmm. so due to the stress im getting now from sch from work from everything. i've decided to drop out. asked ms tay and she said to reconsider and not regret. and its hard to handle the situation now seeing that i've taken my chi o levels and got an A1 and the o levels are just around the corner. well nvm. i've decided not to look at the negative points. i've regretted many stupid things ive done this yr in my life. bringing so much setbacks to myself and making ppl mock at me. yea. im so glad to be in such a state. argh. forget it then. im a stupid spoilt brat wad. ppl think im crazy and whatsoever. its ok.
li hui called me ytd and tt made me so much happier. talked rubbish on the phone for like an hour plus. i wasnt in the mood at 1st. but hmmm. she has cheered me up and look towards a better life. im trying now. but its just too hard on me. what a big blow. of cause to me and not anyone else. seeing how the others are living life now?? im so happy for them and while im suffering i dont want anyone to noe what im going through so i've made this choice. wonder if i realli could. cux i realli couldnt concentrate in sch and i dread the days im in school. long hours and i've to walk past some class. which made me damn upset and depressed. been staring blankly in class and home for many times. stupid right? lol. ok. enough of that. i've decided to give up on myself actualli. just wanna run and escape from reality now. if i die now wouldnt tt be a good thing?? yea. ok then. i'll just rot and become useless in this competitive society and wish that everyone and my friends do well in future. =)
i've come to realise i've regretted what i've done. and its just a great lost to me.
li hui called me ytd and tt made me so much happier. talked rubbish on the phone for like an hour plus. i wasnt in the mood at 1st. but hmmm. she has cheered me up and look towards a better life. im trying now. but its just too hard on me. what a big blow. of cause to me and not anyone else. seeing how the others are living life now?? im so happy for them and while im suffering i dont want anyone to noe what im going through so i've made this choice. wonder if i realli could. cux i realli couldnt concentrate in sch and i dread the days im in school. long hours and i've to walk past some class. which made me damn upset and depressed. been staring blankly in class and home for many times. stupid right? lol. ok. enough of that. i've decided to give up on myself actualli. just wanna run and escape from reality now. if i die now wouldnt tt be a good thing?? yea. ok then. i'll just rot and become useless in this competitive society and wish that everyone and my friends do well in future. =)
i've come to realise i've regretted what i've done. and its just a great lost to me.
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
November 2007
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..