im seriously down these few days. and i think i've gone a little insane for some instances. i cant take this any longer. it's bringing me pain and it hurts me a lot. well, sometimes i do wonder why my life is totally a mess and others are smooth sailing. sighs. ever since a long time ago, i drank again. i wont ever drink unless there's something which is seriously wrong with me. i hate being set in such a state and it brings me to an end of everything. my world is like crashing down every now and then. with so many problems pilling up- firstly my family. with my freaking stubborn sisters, they think they're so much wiser than me. use all sorts of vulgarities to scold me. whoa. so damn cool huh. for goodness sake, think before u speak. especially infront of relatives. and it's during chinese new year. show some respect when you're firstly at fault! i wonder how my mum can stand you both. with both your idiotic attitudes, her life will be shorter i tell you. and its always my fault right.? please. reflect upon yourselves first. i contribute so much more to the family than you two. both of you just know how to do silly stuffs. i agree i did too. i do such stuffs when im seriously in depression and they're all of some good reasons. unlike the both of you. just get lost from me. i dont wanna talk to you. bringing me so much probs is enough to me already. pls spare a thought for your mum too.


secondly, i think that being in a relationship sucks totally. why should i get into it in the first place? i regretted every single stuff i've been doing. i do things that hurt myself and the people around me. someone tell me the reason why??? i shoudnt have tried. well, maybe im searching for that someone who could really understand me and take good care of me. but it doesn seem to go in the right way i guess. looking back at my past relationships, they're not good ones either. it always end up with some major prob in me or its the other party, sighs. i cant handle all these on my own. it's tiring for me. im exhausted already. please give me a break will you? i've came this far ever since last yr after the major break and i know i've been through alot. all my frens and family and so on do know about it. its really tough on me. how long did i take to recover from the emotional damage i had? i've cried too much and it affected me in many areas. it's really hard for me to pick myself right from the beginning. i wonder why i'm treated this way by him. i think i'll treat it as a break for me already. since i've done sth that i shouldnt have. im just not sane that day. bringing myself upon it. sighs. sighs. sighs.

life's a misery for me! i wanna get out of this. it's killing me.








if you do know, you're hurting me alot. im treated in a way that i dont mean anything to you. i've been wrong into accepting you. i shouldnt had done so. we should be frens after all. and not a different status. it seems that im worst than a friend to you now. the way u treated me before we're together is totally a great difference comparing to now. i've been trying to move on with life and seek a new one. i guess i couldnt do it. it's another time for me to get myself into sadness. argh! i dontwanna cry anymore. it's been long since i've cried. are you worth my tears? i thought you could be the third guy in my life i could cry for. but ever since a few days ago, crying for you. i felt that you're not the one i should shed a single tear.








thank you wenna for hearing me out too. i wont get myself drunk. dont worry.