partying this thurs at MOS!!! anyone?? haha. there's jackson and his gay jamie and the rest i'm not sure. there's school the next day too. so how now? i shall decide on thurs then. so confusing. tests and everything's coming up. just finished my damn long GP essay on education. i think i just screwed it up again. just like my damn AQ. damn cool ah. lol. had my work showcased to like dont know how many of my GP teacher's classes. argh.. damn it. so screwed la. and i think i have an upcoming prob that i'm going to face. i'm still very unsure yet. but i'll just wait. urgh. ran up stairs of oldham wing today and did all those jumps rather okay today. not that tiring though. but i gotta slim down super fat. msged chris like that day and on sun. he didnt reply. nvm. dont know what he's thinking at times too. and i just think i'm also unsure of my feelings and his too. sighs. school's in a few hours time. and pract for co again. mon's was quite fruitful at least i gained something from it. but i'm not impressed at some of my senior's performances shall not name who.
anyway thanks for the people who cheered me on!! i love you guys. see ya. and i miss my besties. see ya on VAN's bday at SAKAE which i didnt meet you guys on fri last week. so sorry about that. do accept my apology okays? hahas.
MONSTER is here.....
navigate using the bars above. Click the PINK bar for entries.
C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
You are at MONSTER's BLOG!!!
To enter the MONSTERRICCC's WORLD...
Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
1:22 am - Wednesday, April 25, 2007
11:43 pm - Thursday, April 19, 2007
well well, i'm already burning out not only fats but my health and everything. whoa!!! so cool huh. sighs. school isnt a luxury for me and it is just a boredom with loads of stress!! rahhh. someone save me from hell! i will have a super short life you know?
school was rather okay today kind of slack since chem pract is what that i like and time passes duper quickly on thurs i think? but now i'm suffering aches all over plus my gastric isnt doing a good job too. i'm having heartburns and inflammed oesophagus again. which means i have to take the breath test again and stay in hospital just for the scope( in short) to test for bacteria and other stuff that causes the relapse again. i wanna cry. it means i will suffer all pains and needles into my veins all over again. damn everything. had GP lesson today. which is rather bad. she was going thru this QTK thingy which i translate and thought of ZI GOR PEK i think it's spelt like that. HAHAS. stupid Ha called me horny when she's the one who's horny. i dont have that horny look ok girl? chill. you must be honoured you bear that name. just like how i did as a PON STAR. not PORN!
after school went to meet wayne which i didnt receive her msg cause i changed my no and so went to her house instead to get the shoes for this sun. saw lina and jx( her bf). so sweet. like almost everytime i see him fetching her home from school. * jealous* umms. and talked with ning (wayne) on the way showed me some post in her diary.. i guess he should really take time out just esp for her. it's like if you can do that for your friends why cant just for her? when she's a special someone? i think it makes sense right? i often get into such probs in any r/s. and it's always screwed. it's either my fault or his fault. sighs once again. and i dont know who i'm missing! i'm totally confused. firstly, i cry over him for like quite a couple of days and was really down just over him and our sudden breakup which i didnt expect. and i just lose hope in like almost everything ever since i thought he would be the guy i will really go all out for and just keep him to myself for my life. i once told myself maybe he will be the last guy i will cry really hard for. but what? he isnt the guy who will stay with me till the end of time. though i'm quite numbed to him already and trying to control my feelings and yearned to get back together with him again.but deep in my heart i know it wont be possible ever again. we still do talk. but we're sort of like closer friends. his heart will never be with me. i've sort of lost my faith in relationships already. i'm always the one being hurt and left alone in the dark. when ning asked bout me towards him just now. i just said that break then that's the end. like i totally heck about it. but i do know what my heart tells me. i just thank wenna for talking me out of it like just forget about him and let go.
chris is in bintan. and he said he really want to meet me yesterday before making his business trip there early this morning. asked him why. he said this " cause i miss you and i do hope i could see you before i leave". i'm really shocked at his sms. and he said it's ok if i dont believe him. but im a lost for words. i just hope his business thingy will be smooth sailing and yep successful in settling matters with that customer. and he'll only be back like today. (fri). my heart was like palpitating super fast when i saw that msg and i felt there's sth not really right. like hinting on some stuff. since mon i saw him at westmall hello shop, he said he missed me ever since the last time we met. sort of weird and random. i'm just very confused and i dont know where am i heading to. i guess i need time to sort our every single stuff. i dont have a piece of mind.
GPP research in process now and i'm already 101% burnt. i hope my stuffs are relevant which i think they're not.
someone pls advice me!!
school was rather okay today kind of slack since chem pract is what that i like and time passes duper quickly on thurs i think? but now i'm suffering aches all over plus my gastric isnt doing a good job too. i'm having heartburns and inflammed oesophagus again. which means i have to take the breath test again and stay in hospital just for the scope( in short) to test for bacteria and other stuff that causes the relapse again. i wanna cry. it means i will suffer all pains and needles into my veins all over again. damn everything. had GP lesson today. which is rather bad. she was going thru this QTK thingy which i translate and thought of ZI GOR PEK i think it's spelt like that. HAHAS. stupid Ha called me horny when she's the one who's horny. i dont have that horny look ok girl? chill. you must be honoured you bear that name. just like how i did as a PON STAR. not PORN!
after school went to meet wayne which i didnt receive her msg cause i changed my no and so went to her house instead to get the shoes for this sun. saw lina and jx( her bf). so sweet. like almost everytime i see him fetching her home from school. * jealous* umms. and talked with ning (wayne) on the way showed me some post in her diary.. i guess he should really take time out just esp for her. it's like if you can do that for your friends why cant just for her? when she's a special someone? i think it makes sense right? i often get into such probs in any r/s. and it's always screwed. it's either my fault or his fault. sighs once again. and i dont know who i'm missing! i'm totally confused. firstly, i cry over him for like quite a couple of days and was really down just over him and our sudden breakup which i didnt expect. and i just lose hope in like almost everything ever since i thought he would be the guy i will really go all out for and just keep him to myself for my life. i once told myself maybe he will be the last guy i will cry really hard for. but what? he isnt the guy who will stay with me till the end of time. though i'm quite numbed to him already and trying to control my feelings and yearned to get back together with him again.but deep in my heart i know it wont be possible ever again. we still do talk. but we're sort of like closer friends. his heart will never be with me. i've sort of lost my faith in relationships already. i'm always the one being hurt and left alone in the dark. when ning asked bout me towards him just now. i just said that break then that's the end. like i totally heck about it. but i do know what my heart tells me. i just thank wenna for talking me out of it like just forget about him and let go.
chris is in bintan. and he said he really want to meet me yesterday before making his business trip there early this morning. asked him why. he said this " cause i miss you and i do hope i could see you before i leave". i'm really shocked at his sms. and he said it's ok if i dont believe him. but im a lost for words. i just hope his business thingy will be smooth sailing and yep successful in settling matters with that customer. and he'll only be back like today. (fri). my heart was like palpitating super fast when i saw that msg and i felt there's sth not really right. like hinting on some stuff. since mon i saw him at westmall hello shop, he said he missed me ever since the last time we met. sort of weird and random. i'm just very confused and i dont know where am i heading to. i guess i need time to sort our every single stuff. i dont have a piece of mind.
GPP research in process now and i'm already 101% burnt. i hope my stuffs are relevant which i think they're not.
someone pls advice me!!
idiotic screwed up and pathetic life i have now!!
3:26 am - Monday, April 16, 2007
well i just wanna use the word f*** up. but i dont wanna sound vulgar and not polite in any sense. so i shall be demure for the start of my title. wahha. sound so not right ehs. hmmms. i wanna act like how xiangwei did. the HMMMMS. which is super gay. but it made me laugh my heart out anyway. arghhhhhhhhhh... it's not even the end of my stressful life. firstly, i screwed up my damn audition for syf. i played seriously out of tune for certain parts which i could hear damn loudly. and with me being tensed up and wanting to do everything perfectly well, i made very huge reactions when i screwed them up. well done man! si'en u are pretty amazingly successful now. grrr.. i'm some what a perfectionist in certain areas especially when it comes to music. darn it. i'm already screwed so i shall continue screwing my darn life now alright?? *claps* for me please, people! i will appreciate that loads. thank you~. it's like 3.32am on monday april 16th. and im still here rotting infront of my lappy. whee. i'm sick and tired of every single thing now. i have no guts to do anything or rather think of anything. my future is like not going to get anywhere better gauging from my stupid brainless performance. sighs... life's just so screwed. i should change my name soon too yea? to screw en. heheheheh. sounds very nice dont ya feel?
anw. talking bout my work. i slacked quite a little. haha. i love working at the bar. like polishing the mugs, jugs, the wine cups. pay is quite good and nevertheless i enjoyed my time there. with good friends around and chefs that actually treated me super well. like making food for me when i'm not even supposed to eat during working hours. and so i had to hide in that kitchen to eat. hahas. i just love it at artz pizza and bar. a nice experience. and to the 2 gays im slow in some sense but not to that extent ok.!!
i miss all my besties and my clique. the monster i had once shared my laughter with, the ahlibaba who is always there for me shed tears with me, van for being crazy with me, shin yun for being an auntie, kahhwee for the very 'quiet' times, meryl for sharing the days we bully fenglin my beloved partner and the rest i shall post next time. and not to forget.. my dear bestie-joson, for bitching everything under the sun and sharing all my sorrows and bringing me back on the right track again. sharing the times we had till the morning. letting me have a shoulder to rely and lean on. i'm seriously touched. oh wells, i'm crying now. oh my gosh. being emotional now. ok. i better stop. and yea wayne for enduring the very tough time i had to go thru last yr and even till this year the times we spent together though it's not very often. but i thank you for all that. and i just really wanna say i LOVE you guys. all of you made a part of my life. without you guys, i will be filled with emptiness. although i have lost people i do cherish and love, but it's still not the end of everything right, isnt it? that's what my friends do tell me when i'm just out of love and so on. i thank you guys once again.
to be continued again when i'm home later.. i just wanna sleep but i cant. i'm like having a small club at home now. haha. good night people. enjoy your wonderful sleep. sighs it's so unlike mine. what a wonderful life i really have....... a BIG WHOA......... w.......................h..........................o..............................................a
anw. talking bout my work. i slacked quite a little. haha. i love working at the bar. like polishing the mugs, jugs, the wine cups. pay is quite good and nevertheless i enjoyed my time there. with good friends around and chefs that actually treated me super well. like making food for me when i'm not even supposed to eat during working hours. and so i had to hide in that kitchen to eat. hahas. i just love it at artz pizza and bar. a nice experience. and to the 2 gays im slow in some sense but not to that extent ok.!!
i miss all my besties and my clique. the monster i had once shared my laughter with, the ahlibaba who is always there for me shed tears with me, van for being crazy with me, shin yun for being an auntie, kahhwee for the very 'quiet' times, meryl for sharing the days we bully fenglin my beloved partner and the rest i shall post next time. and not to forget.. my dear bestie-joson, for bitching everything under the sun and sharing all my sorrows and bringing me back on the right track again. sharing the times we had till the morning. letting me have a shoulder to rely and lean on. i'm seriously touched. oh wells, i'm crying now. oh my gosh. being emotional now. ok. i better stop. and yea wayne for enduring the very tough time i had to go thru last yr and even till this year the times we spent together though it's not very often. but i thank you for all that. and i just really wanna say i LOVE you guys. all of you made a part of my life. without you guys, i will be filled with emptiness. although i have lost people i do cherish and love, but it's still not the end of everything right, isnt it? that's what my friends do tell me when i'm just out of love and so on. i thank you guys once again.
to be continued again when i'm home later.. i just wanna sleep but i cant. i'm like having a small club at home now. haha. good night people. enjoy your wonderful sleep. sighs it's so unlike mine. what a wonderful life i really have....... a BIG WHOA......... w.......................h..........................o..............................................a
Labels: i hate myself seriously.
i have no life!!!
11:44 pm - Wednesday, April 11, 2007
practically people who knows me super uberly well calls me the PON- STAR. I REPEAT NOT PORN STAR!! okays. well that's my name now. lol. given by my PAE class like quite some time ago. but now everyone calls me that too. haha. am i one?? hmmm. maybe. well, i am super stressed over school stuff and syf. i think it's just school and syf now that stressed me up. i cant stand my life anymore. and i have became some girl dying of fatigue. and yea i sort of ponned school again today. i slept super early last night actually at around 945? but i couldnt wake up due to my swollen eyes. so i decided not to go school. and went to see the doc when my mum was done with her insurance stuff? madam called me and asked what happened to me. lol. she was like saying ' si'en you cant afford to miss any of the tests and CAs. if not it'll affect your terms and promos greatly. argh!!! it's killing me a lot now. to think of that. of course i do know about such stuffs. but who cares. at least i have an mc which i need to have one to excuse myself from today's bio and chem test. well i just missed it anw. wanted to take chem actually by going to school. but i'm just too lazy and not in the mood to even get myself to school. besides my eyes were just like a fish's eyeball. haha. kinda cool eh??
my aim was to actually quit school. but i couldnt now. as no one wants to accept me to like anywhere. i'm kinda excited this fri to start work. and jackson said i may even be trained to work at the bar!! that's so cool man. i can't wait till then. it's like work becomes more of a part of my life rather than school. school- it makes me dreadful of it. and i do hate it. itk just doesnt bring any spark to me. i can club all night and then go home and have some sleep and get out of home again. that's like so different for me if i were to put that situation in school. i will never ever do that for school like what mugging the whole wee hours in the morning and then maybe sleep a few hours or dont sleep then go school? well my answer to that FAT HOPE. DONT EVER THINK OR EXPECT THAT FROM ME! hahas. i'm such a rebellious girl. which my mum calls me that. however, she understands why that's coming from me. due to stress bombs hitting me and it can be disastrous if i were to be at the peak anytime. my best friends do know that.
celebrated calvin's birthday at bukit timah food junction. some chinese five star restaurant which they call that. kinda worth it though. and we had a fun and enjoyable time there. missed the og terribly. and didnt know that dan tong will know tobias too. it's like we're all like interconnected now once she got into HCJC. and im rather shocked that he told her that i'm his good friend. as now we dont really talk that much as before already or even hang out together ever since like sec 3? well reason- he's attached. haha. so no time for that. i kinda miss those days when we're like super close friends talking everything and bitching all the way. he sounds like some girl right. haha.
all for that today. i'm still feeling swelled up. like my right eye. just dropped some eye drop into my eye. hope it does recover by tmr. i need my eye to be normal at least! many stuffs are expected and fated. i have to believe and face it right now. dont probe over it anymore!
my aim was to actually quit school. but i couldnt now. as no one wants to accept me to like anywhere. i'm kinda excited this fri to start work. and jackson said i may even be trained to work at the bar!! that's so cool man. i can't wait till then. it's like work becomes more of a part of my life rather than school. school- it makes me dreadful of it. and i do hate it. itk just doesnt bring any spark to me. i can club all night and then go home and have some sleep and get out of home again. that's like so different for me if i were to put that situation in school. i will never ever do that for school like what mugging the whole wee hours in the morning and then maybe sleep a few hours or dont sleep then go school? well my answer to that FAT HOPE. DONT EVER THINK OR EXPECT THAT FROM ME! hahas. i'm such a rebellious girl. which my mum calls me that. however, she understands why that's coming from me. due to stress bombs hitting me and it can be disastrous if i were to be at the peak anytime. my best friends do know that.
celebrated calvin's birthday at bukit timah food junction. some chinese five star restaurant which they call that. kinda worth it though. and we had a fun and enjoyable time there. missed the og terribly. and didnt know that dan tong will know tobias too. it's like we're all like interconnected now once she got into HCJC. and im rather shocked that he told her that i'm his good friend. as now we dont really talk that much as before already or even hang out together ever since like sec 3? well reason- he's attached. haha. so no time for that. i kinda miss those days when we're like super close friends talking everything and bitching all the way. he sounds like some girl right. haha.
all for that today. i'm still feeling swelled up. like my right eye. just dropped some eye drop into my eye. hope it does recover by tmr. i need my eye to be normal at least! many stuffs are expected and fated. i have to believe and face it right now. dont probe over it anymore!
11:03 pm - Saturday, April 07, 2007
3:23 pm - Friday, April 06, 2007
just came back from MOS. super damn tired. wasnt that high actually. it's much crowded than ever as it's free entry for everyone and plus 1 to 1 free drink. haha. had quite a lot of fun with meryl, yun yun, matthias and asti. plus some other ppl whom i dont really know actually.that stupid lady dont let me in and kept checking my face with that fake IC i got from chia chia. haha. and then left me with that bouncer saying that i cant get in. it's like he wil allow me to get in but will confiscate the IC like what the hell!! then i settled and everything and so the few who actually got in came out and we went by the back door. and i got in. haha. the bouncer didnt even check la. he's super good. just give me the chop and let me in. stupid lady. those who're not checked by her actually got in. lol. yea. i had blisters now plus cramps. haven been clubbing much often now. due to cca. no life man. i'll be going out soon.
happy good friday peeps!!
happy good friday peeps!!
SCCO CHEER UP!! IT'S NOT THE END. THE GOAL IS STILL ON OUR WAY
8:48 pm - Tuesday, April 03, 2007
well. went to help out for scco's syf today. i missed my section and juniors alot especially the crazy 2 little kids. haha. david and genesis. they do give you headache though.hmm. although we didnt manage to clinch the gold award that we've aimed and wanted so long ago, but we've did our best and especially cello/bass i was damn worried for you guys and you guys are always the best in my heart, all the memories and fun that we all had. cello/bass- gold........ tt's all i can say. with mr poh around. haha. keep the standard and do not deprove ok!! although mr poh did say this batch's standard is not good as in our times. haa. cause me and joson too pro-ed already. lala. enough of my craps. but he's like very good to us during our 4 yrs in swiss co. despite the scoldings and suan-ness he did to the section. heh. so all i have to say is i love you guys loads. and i've learnt alot today. and it's the kind of experience that i wont even ever get elsewhere. like in my jc co now. i dont feel as much as i do to swiss. it's the kind of impact that ms lim left on us and what i had did to you guys. the kind of bond we had and we share almost everything under the sun. keep up. cheers. do miss me. okays?? the tears we shed will always be remembered. like how it was today. sortamemorable. we did it as a whole. work hard on the concert for next yr then. and in 2 yrs time- gold is ours.. though some schools dont deserve this time actually. i shant name them.. all in all i conclude that i have faith in SCCO! =)
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
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October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
November 2007
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..