well i just wanna use the word f*** up. but i dont wanna sound vulgar and not polite in any sense. so i shall be demure for the start of my title. wahha. sound so not right ehs. hmmms. i wanna act like how xiangwei did. the HMMMMS. which is super gay. but it made me laugh my heart out anyway. arghhhhhhhhhh... it's not even the end of my stressful life. firstly, i screwed up my damn audition for syf. i played seriously out of tune for certain parts which i could hear damn loudly. and with me being tensed up and wanting to do everything perfectly well, i made very huge reactions when i screwed them up. well done man! si'en u are pretty amazingly successful now. grrr.. i'm some what a perfectionist in certain areas especially when it comes to music. darn it. i'm already screwed so i shall continue screwing my darn life now alright?? *claps* for me please, people! i will appreciate that loads. thank you~. it's like 3.32am on monday april 16th. and im still here rotting infront of my lappy. whee. i'm sick and tired of every single thing now. i have no guts to do anything or rather think of anything. my future is like not going to get anywhere better gauging from my stupid brainless performance. sighs... life's just so screwed. i should change my name soon too yea? to screw en. heheheheh. sounds very nice dont ya feel?









anw. talking bout my work. i slacked quite a little. haha. i love working at the bar. like polishing the mugs, jugs, the wine cups. pay is quite good and nevertheless i enjoyed my time there. with good friends around and chefs that actually treated me super well. like making food for me when i'm not even supposed to eat during working hours. and so i had to hide in that kitchen to eat. hahas. i just love it at artz pizza and bar. a nice experience. and to the 2 gays im slow in some sense but not to that extent ok.!!







i miss all my besties and my clique. the monster i had once shared my laughter with, the ahlibaba who is always there for me shed tears with me, van for being crazy with me, shin yun for being an auntie, kahhwee for the very 'quiet' times, meryl for sharing the days we bully fenglin my beloved partner and the rest i shall post next time. and not to forget.. my dear bestie-joson, for bitching everything under the sun and sharing all my sorrows and bringing me back on the right track again. sharing the times we had till the morning. letting me have a shoulder to rely and lean on. i'm seriously touched. oh wells, i'm crying now. oh my gosh. being emotional now. ok. i better stop. and yea wayne for enduring the very tough time i had to go thru last yr and even till this year the times we spent together though it's not very often. but i thank you for all that. and i just really wanna say i LOVE you guys. all of you made a part of my life. without you guys, i will be filled with emptiness. although i have lost people i do cherish and love, but it's still not the end of everything right, isnt it? that's what my friends do tell me when i'm just out of love and so on. i thank you guys once again.








to be continued again when i'm home later.. i just wanna sleep but i cant. i'm like having a small club at home now. haha. good night people. enjoy your wonderful sleep. sighs it's so unlike mine. what a wonderful life i really have....... a BIG WHOA......... w.......................h..........................o..............................................a

Labels: i hate myself seriously.