TRUST = to be able to believe and rely on that person wholeheartedly. It applies to everyone - those who are close and dear to you.
Can anyone be trusted on this dying earth??
doubts and doubts
i doubt so.
The only person whom I can trust now is.. My Father in Heaven. He is the only one whom anyone can trust. No matter what religion you're from.. All i can say. Our 3 in one living god is the only one whom you can pour your sorrows to.
He kept saying he doesn't know why I'm freaking mad and furious about this.
I was super mad and I still am. It made me really boil to 39.5 Degrees Celcius. it's like wth is happening to me? I couldn't sleep and i tossed around for hours till like this morning 7 plus till i see messages bombing my phone. I was shocked and amazed. Well, if up till now, he still doesn't know what's wrong, I can't do anything to help him already. I shall just wish the best of luck to the next person be it girl or guy. The victim that follows me. At least, I yearn that the person will not be as dumb as me. I'm really dumb.
DUMB - a word that can describe me.
Lecture was just boring today. BMGT - it is just a wastage of time. I sat there and Javier let me listen to his songs. WTH. a few sad songs. I really wanna tear, but i gotta control myself. Followed by Techno - drive me super high. We went mad or rather, i think i was the one who went nuts. So.. that's how i spent my 2h our BMGT lecture. =)..
What i'm feeling right now - Mixedup!! I have all my feelings jumbled up together. I am going crazy. really crazy. I guess it'll be another sleepless night for me already.
Shall continue again if i feel like it.
I really regret trusting the one whom I love. Maybe there's a huge miscommunication. Maybe. I hope so, but it doesn't seem so right..
Everything's so so so wrong now..
My world's turned upside down.
MONSTER is here.....
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C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
You are at MONSTER's BLOG!!!
To enter the MONSTERRICCC's WORLD...
Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
3:17 pm - Wednesday, April 30, 2008
12:11 am - Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I really don't know what to say.. I just had a boiling sensation running from head to toe. RIGHT.. I think what Jeraena said was right. I should not have been so nice.. BASKET. I shall finish my unfinished stuffs and get the presents that i should get for Kah Hwee and Vanessa. Headache. I think i really have no time for all these already. But they're my best friends/buddies.
Yes we're tired after a day's work or school. say wanna sleep but not sleeping i think. suck la.
Really clash.. See how long it can continue. I shall open my eyes wider and set my mind thinking. But Cass says to take good care of my health first. I do agree. I dont wanna be affected by such stupid stuffs already. Since they're clever people. hahas.
Jackson - I dont think it's funny of you to fade away. You didn't do anything wrong. and besides we're really good friends or pals. I wonder what made u think you have not fulfilled your promises to me??
I wonder if I've ever made the right choices in my life. Maybe what all my friends and fellow adults said was very right. Why think you've regretted? He's not someone you should be with. Reason: He's not a good guy. I do agree..
REGRET is a great word for me. I can never regret in my life. REGRET is sth that will cause me to fall one day. AND if it happens, I will severe all ties with whoever i know.
Yes we're tired after a day's work or school. say wanna sleep but not sleeping i think. suck la.
Really clash.. See how long it can continue. I shall open my eyes wider and set my mind thinking. But Cass says to take good care of my health first. I do agree. I dont wanna be affected by such stupid stuffs already. Since they're clever people. hahas.
Jackson - I dont think it's funny of you to fade away. You didn't do anything wrong. and besides we're really good friends or pals. I wonder what made u think you have not fulfilled your promises to me??
I wonder if I've ever made the right choices in my life. Maybe what all my friends and fellow adults said was very right. Why think you've regretted? He's not someone you should be with. Reason: He's not a good guy. I do agree..
REGRET is a great word for me. I can never regret in my life. REGRET is sth that will cause me to fall one day. AND if it happens, I will severe all ties with whoever i know.
12:23 am - Saturday, April 26, 2008
BOOOOO... I've a lot to update.. but i shall not at the moment. Will be doing some revamping of the blog with my friend's help. Hope it will be pretty nice and great =) !
Had a very long MSN conversation with Jeraena ever since she knew about my problems. And it is really really long... VERY LONG..
It's about him and also myself.. His was yesterday.. and today I think it's because of my MSN nickname which made a conversational topic again. hahas..
I shall put up some i guess later today?? or maybe tmr.. see how it goes and will do an update on my interesting and not so interesting day.. It seems rather okay to me though.. normal routine yet not so normal...
Piano pract starts at 8am sharp tmr.. Look forward to it as I'm getting my new Jazz - POP book.. shall discover it tmr..
Right now.. I shall continue with my chat with her... She is really nice to relate to.. I can trust her totally and it's indeed complete trust which i cant possibly do that to many. I do trust my good pals and friends too.. Don't worry peeps.. She can read my mind and I'm super impressed.
Continue later.. I wanna find out more about myself. There are much for me to discover. I don't understand how i feel and my past has made me lead my life in spite and anger - according to her. sighs.. There's this urge for me to tear but somehow my tears went back..
Had a very long MSN conversation with Jeraena ever since she knew about my problems. And it is really really long... VERY LONG..
It's about him and also myself.. His was yesterday.. and today I think it's because of my MSN nickname which made a conversational topic again. hahas..
I shall put up some i guess later today?? or maybe tmr.. see how it goes and will do an update on my interesting and not so interesting day.. It seems rather okay to me though.. normal routine yet not so normal...
Piano pract starts at 8am sharp tmr.. Look forward to it as I'm getting my new Jazz - POP book.. shall discover it tmr..
Right now.. I shall continue with my chat with her... She is really nice to relate to.. I can trust her totally and it's indeed complete trust which i cant possibly do that to many. I do trust my good pals and friends too.. Don't worry peeps.. She can read my mind and I'm super impressed.
Continue later.. I wanna find out more about myself. There are much for me to discover. I don't understand how i feel and my past has made me lead my life in spite and anger - according to her. sighs.. There's this urge for me to tear but somehow my tears went back..
8:25 pm - Wednesday, April 23, 2008
zzzz. I am so gonna fall already. First, I dropped my laptop!!! i'm freaking sad. there's a crack already. damn it. Secondly, I am gonna be sick soon. I have been lacking of sleep and good rest. I have muscle aches all over and it's like symptoms of having a serious serious flu which will last me like a week or so i think.. KNS.. weak fella. damn pissed at myself. zzz..
lastly, my special friend wanna fade away. I don't know what he's thinking about. I think he still feels guilty about the incident. Reason: He didn't fulfill his promise of protecting me.... Wonder why he thought in that way. But my guess is.. He had been treating me well all the time.. and.....
It's not even his fault. I have no right to say anything too.. Cause at the very end, he's just a special friend to me. Which is still friend. sighsighsigh.. I can't convince him too.. aiya. too tired. I can't think too.. I shall cry for my lappy. =).. It's a damn heartache to me for dropping that. Not only did it just drop, it bounced after dropping. That made it even worst ain't it??
Trying to revise french, but i don't think i remembered anything as I've been dazing around during the 2h lesson every Monday. It ends so late and I don't have such a long attention span. All these are excuses. haha. I wanna doze off already.. Why am I being hard on myself??
I think I've missed out many stuffs.. shall continue again if I have new updates.
yes, had a good lunch with cheryl and kang again. The trio from Swiss Cottage. zzzzzz.
PS: Michael, thank you for all the books which you've given me. Saved me from a bomb ($$$). Although I did spend like 60++ for 2 books already..
I shall protect my lappy from injury from today onwards. I shall take good care of you, my dear. Don't worry. =)..
time for me to zzzzzz.
lastly, my special friend wanna fade away. I don't know what he's thinking about. I think he still feels guilty about the incident. Reason: He didn't fulfill his promise of protecting me.... Wonder why he thought in that way. But my guess is.. He had been treating me well all the time.. and.....
It's not even his fault. I have no right to say anything too.. Cause at the very end, he's just a special friend to me. Which is still friend. sighsighsigh.. I can't convince him too.. aiya. too tired. I can't think too.. I shall cry for my lappy. =).. It's a damn heartache to me for dropping that. Not only did it just drop, it bounced after dropping. That made it even worst ain't it??
Trying to revise french, but i don't think i remembered anything as I've been dazing around during the 2h lesson every Monday. It ends so late and I don't have such a long attention span. All these are excuses. haha. I wanna doze off already.. Why am I being hard on myself??
I think I've missed out many stuffs.. shall continue again if I have new updates.
yes, had a good lunch with cheryl and kang again. The trio from Swiss Cottage. zzzzzz.
PS: Michael, thank you for all the books which you've given me. Saved me from a bomb ($$$). Although I did spend like 60++ for 2 books already..
I shall protect my lappy from injury from today onwards. I shall take good care of you, my dear. Don't worry. =)..
time for me to zzzzzz.
12:28 am - Tuesday, April 22, 2008
i am never good at words - even expressing my own feelings. so how could i even care about others? and i'm really blessed to have seriously good friends around me. I do really thank them a lot. As they're my pillar of strength, although I have to rely on myself at the end of the day. Fate is decided upon yourself. just had a tough time alone and although some tried to cheer me up, i couldn't control but just burst out and breakdown. I know I am not alone as they'll still be there physically/emotionally. Emotionally which most of them were doing and are doing. =) Thank you my dear friends and my managers/boss. You are people who are much older and have experienced much more in life especially in the case for love.
Although I've heard about such sayings: It is hard to let go of someone you love but trust me, time will heal if you both are not meant to be.
remember to be fair to yourself too, cannot just give and give then you will end up being so exhausted and drained and it will not be love anymore cos he doesn't even love you enough to consider your welfare
then u gotta decide if your love is strong enough to last through this
cos love is not blind and dumb
it requires your mind and heart also
so you cannot force yourself to pretend nothing and continue to love him. sometimes some people make good bf but not good hubby
cry it out and you will feel better
but then you will be very tired tomorrow
then your eyes wil be swollen, you gotta put cold cucumber on your eyes
it is not easy i know and times like this, as God put you through this test i am sure He is teaching something from it and also, you put God to the test by trusting HIm completely and believing He has better plans in store for you and tat is why you are letting go and moving ahead with Him not knowing wat is ahead.
Jeraena is really good. hahas. still advise me to put cucumber on my eyes. I know it'll swell, no matter how much or how little. And it is really bad. Guess i gotta go to school in such a condition with my super tired look. zzzzz. She's married with 3 kids. And all of them are so super cute. =). I admire her actually. And also those who are attached/married too. GO on strong.
Edwin also did cheer me up online, and adding me into the conversation with those FA ID team actually pissed me cause it's personal msn. but well, it's alright. he thought i was working now.. zzz. wth. Away from that, he did say the same stuffs too and kept teasing me. One thing to note: He said I am strong. Even stronger than him especially during my time at work, woah. amazed me though. And was shocked that i am in such a state now. Cause it's just so unlike me. People dont expect me to breakdown just like that. Oh well, I am never strong, maybe i do give that first impression to people: Si'En is a brave and strong girl ( both mentally/physically).. zzzz. i doubt so whenever I have problems on my own or factors that are affecting me.
to continue again. I am really exhausted and worn out by the tears I've shed. I do not totally say I regret cause i don't want him to think that way. Eventually, it'll boost up his ego. He has really great ego up up up there. so... Saying regret out from my mouth is really hard. It'll only happen when i fail right down. which has yet to happen and I am still preventing it to happen. i don't expect anything to change or happen.
guys around me care about me a lot. And wants to be there for me and lend me their shoulders.. but i just couldnt do it. i wanted too though. but.. i think no point.. maybe if it's really time for me to do so as he is doing so.. then i will have to move on. No one can possibly cling on to something that will not exist or come back to you again. I shall try to sleep and have some rest. I have seriously not feeling healthy these few days. I have the possibility of fainting anytime. But I am strong so I can succumb it. Good night. I have 5hrs to sleep now. Didn't manage to read up on anything ever since I'm back home. I can't afford to lose time now. Sighs. And nothing's engraved in my mind - knowledge......
time for self-recharging....
panda is coming to school later on.
I shall continue again.
Although I've heard about such sayings: It is hard to let go of someone you love but trust me, time will heal if you both are not meant to be.
remember to be fair to yourself too, cannot just give and give then you will end up being so exhausted and drained and it will not be love anymore cos he doesn't even love you enough to consider your welfare
then u gotta decide if your love is strong enough to last through this
cos love is not blind and dumb
it requires your mind and heart also
so you cannot force yourself to pretend nothing and continue to love him. sometimes some people make good bf but not good hubby
cry it out and you will feel better
but then you will be very tired tomorrow
then your eyes wil be swollen, you gotta put cold cucumber on your eyes
it is not easy i know and times like this, as God put you through this test i am sure He is teaching something from it and also, you put God to the test by trusting HIm completely and believing He has better plans in store for you and tat is why you are letting go and moving ahead with Him not knowing wat is ahead.
Jeraena is really good. hahas. still advise me to put cucumber on my eyes. I know it'll swell, no matter how much or how little. And it is really bad. Guess i gotta go to school in such a condition with my super tired look. zzzzz. She's married with 3 kids. And all of them are so super cute. =). I admire her actually. And also those who are attached/married too. GO on strong.
Edwin also did cheer me up online, and adding me into the conversation with those FA ID team actually pissed me cause it's personal msn. but well, it's alright. he thought i was working now.. zzz. wth. Away from that, he did say the same stuffs too and kept teasing me. One thing to note: He said I am strong. Even stronger than him especially during my time at work, woah. amazed me though. And was shocked that i am in such a state now. Cause it's just so unlike me. People dont expect me to breakdown just like that. Oh well, I am never strong, maybe i do give that first impression to people: Si'En is a brave and strong girl ( both mentally/physically).. zzzz. i doubt so whenever I have problems on my own or factors that are affecting me.
to continue again. I am really exhausted and worn out by the tears I've shed. I do not totally say I regret cause i don't want him to think that way. Eventually, it'll boost up his ego. He has really great ego up up up there. so... Saying regret out from my mouth is really hard. It'll only happen when i fail right down. which has yet to happen and I am still preventing it to happen. i don't expect anything to change or happen.
guys around me care about me a lot. And wants to be there for me and lend me their shoulders.. but i just couldnt do it. i wanted too though. but.. i think no point.. maybe if it's really time for me to do so as he is doing so.. then i will have to move on. No one can possibly cling on to something that will not exist or come back to you again. I shall try to sleep and have some rest. I have seriously not feeling healthy these few days. I have the possibility of fainting anytime. But I am strong so I can succumb it. Good night. I have 5hrs to sleep now. Didn't manage to read up on anything ever since I'm back home. I can't afford to lose time now. Sighs. And nothing's engraved in my mind - knowledge......
time for self-recharging....
panda is coming to school later on.
I shall continue again.
8:23 pm - Sunday, April 20, 2008
Bright, cold silver moon. Tonight alone in my room. You were here just yesterday. Slight turn of the head, eyes fell when you said, I guess I need my life to change. Seems like something's just not the same. What could I say?
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit, cause everytime I get stuck, the words won't fit. And everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by. I need a little more help than a little bit. Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet. Cause everytime that I try to get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time.
I stare up at the stars, I wonder just where you are, you feel a million miles away. (I wonder just where you are). Was it something I said, or something I never did? Or was I always in the way? (Was it something I did). Can someone tell me what to say, to just make you stay?
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit, cause everytime I get stuck, the words won't fit. And everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by. I need a little more help than a little bit. Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet. Cause everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time.
I know it feels like again, don't want to be here again. And we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down again. And what it takes I don't care, were gonna make it I swear. And we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down again, again.
I need a little more luck than a little bit, cause every time I get stuck, the words won't fit. But everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by. I need a little more help, than a little bit. Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet. Cause everytime that I try to get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time.
I know it feels like again, don't want to be here again. And we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down again. And what it takes I don't care, were gonna make it I swear. And we could help eachother off the ground, so we never fall down again.
i am tongue.tied.
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit, cause everytime I get stuck, the words won't fit. And everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by. I need a little more help than a little bit. Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet. Cause everytime that I try to get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time.
I stare up at the stars, I wonder just where you are, you feel a million miles away. (I wonder just where you are). Was it something I said, or something I never did? Or was I always in the way? (Was it something I did). Can someone tell me what to say, to just make you stay?
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit, cause everytime I get stuck, the words won't fit. And everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by. I need a little more help than a little bit. Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet. Cause everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time.
I know it feels like again, don't want to be here again. And we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down again. And what it takes I don't care, were gonna make it I swear. And we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down again, again.
I need a little more luck than a little bit, cause every time I get stuck, the words won't fit. But everytime that I try I get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by. I need a little more help, than a little bit. Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet. Cause everytime that I try to get tongue tied, I need a little good luck to get me by this time.
I know it feels like again, don't want to be here again. And we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down again. And what it takes I don't care, were gonna make it I swear. And we could help eachother off the ground, so we never fall down again.
i am tongue.tied.
6:56 pm
freaking pissed for the whole of today. instead of meeting him or my friend such that i can sort things out properly, i went home straight after work. and so. yea, my previous post is up there. And the reason why i dont wanna meet him ytd to sort things out was:
The kind of message he replied back was insincere. Excerpt from it: this is what he sad: i told you, if you wantedme back, i would take you back but see how long later....
After reading the whole message, i was like fucking hell. treat me like that. sounds as if i'm just some shui bian girl lo. like what his brother is doing. want girl A then dont want her. then want his old flame. idiot la. and from my friend X, X said he's just acting. Was furious so i told him not to meet then since i've already known the answer. So it's like no point of me telling him how i feel. So i post it here. at least i do feel better in a way or another, but, at the end of the day, i am still hurt. darn it.
just kangyang said it takes loads of anger and courage to post it out.. zzzz. maybe. i know it's not my usual self. cause the impression I give to the people around me are - normal, sweet, innocent. hahas. so funny. do i look like one? i think this is for normal people. the rest are like. i shall not comment further. think i'm some sleazy person. F*** off la. And to the few people out there. Just stop bugging me about jumping into another relationship already. I will not go into anyone anymore. I've not even solved my own problems and yet you guys came in. Stop bothering me. It's like freaking mad at them. bug and bug non-stop. the 3 words. I LOVE YOU. woah. so easily said. That's what all guys are good at it. Which is why, I don't say these words that easily. To say and mean it from the bottom of one's heart is the way. You think it's like plain water?? say it whenever you want? super despo.
besides that point. The feeling which I described to KangYang was I do love him, but at the same time, I do hate it. it's so screwed up. zzzz. I am really tired and right now i'm just waiting for his message. He can choose to reply me or not. The other time he also didnt cause of some reason. And i know why he's like that. Let your imagination run wild. Cause it's totally hidden meanings. hard to explain too.
The kind of message he replied back was insincere. Excerpt from it: this is what he sad: i told you, if you wantedme back, i would take you back but see how long later....
After reading the whole message, i was like fucking hell. treat me like that. sounds as if i'm just some shui bian girl lo. like what his brother is doing. want girl A then dont want her. then want his old flame. idiot la. and from my friend X, X said he's just acting. Was furious so i told him not to meet then since i've already known the answer. So it's like no point of me telling him how i feel. So i post it here. at least i do feel better in a way or another, but, at the end of the day, i am still hurt. darn it.
just kangyang said it takes loads of anger and courage to post it out.. zzzz. maybe. i know it's not my usual self. cause the impression I give to the people around me are - normal, sweet, innocent. hahas. so funny. do i look like one? i think this is for normal people. the rest are like. i shall not comment further. think i'm some sleazy person. F*** off la. And to the few people out there. Just stop bugging me about jumping into another relationship already. I will not go into anyone anymore. I've not even solved my own problems and yet you guys came in. Stop bothering me. It's like freaking mad at them. bug and bug non-stop. the 3 words. I LOVE YOU. woah. so easily said. That's what all guys are good at it. Which is why, I don't say these words that easily. To say and mean it from the bottom of one's heart is the way. You think it's like plain water?? say it whenever you want? super despo.
besides that point. The feeling which I described to KangYang was I do love him, but at the same time, I do hate it. it's so screwed up. zzzz. I am really tired and right now i'm just waiting for his message. He can choose to reply me or not. The other time he also didnt cause of some reason. And i know why he's like that. Let your imagination run wild. Cause it's totally hidden meanings. hard to explain too.
12:48 am
SORRY PEEPS. IN REAL LIFE I'M NOT LIKE THAT. YOU GUYS SHOULD KNOW. THESE WORDS COMING OUT FROM MY MOUTH DAMN HARD LA. ANW IT'S ONLY WRITING. DONT TAKE IT TOO HARD
FFFFF. IM NOT GONNA CARE HOW I WRITE NOW. I SHALL JUST RANT LIKE SHIT BUSINESS. I FEEL LIKE FFFF----INGGGGGGGG PPL. AND IN MY SENSE. NOT THE SENSE OF HAVING CASUAL FUCKING FREE SEX. OR USE PPL AS SEX TOOL LIKE YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. I MAY SOUND VERY VULGAR HERE NOW. CAUSE IM SUPER PISSED, CONFUSED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT'S LOVE. IM LIKE HOOKED BY IT ALREADY. DO I LOVE??? YES / NO?? I SAID I DONT KNOW. SAY I WANNA JUST FLING. SIAO AH. KNN.. U THINK I'M THAT KIND. I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE. LIKE HOW U TREAT GIRLS. SO NICE LO. ME? I THINK IT'S JUST WHAT EVERY BF WILL DO AT LEAST. MY TRUST FOR HIM OR RATHER MY LOVE FOR HIM SORT OF FADED. MAYBE NOT FADED. IT'S LIKE DEMORALIZING FOR SOMEONE TO HEAR THAT OOHH. PEOPLE/ HUMAN ARE WHAT???.. CIVILIZED. AND MOREOVER, BECAUSE OF THAT WE WILL TEND TO LOOK FOR FRESHER STUFFS. YES INDEED, TO THAT POINT. I FUCKING AGREE, BUT THE OTHER PART COMES IN, WHY DO BOYFRIENDS (GUYS) CHEAT ON THEIR GFs????
REASON 1: THE GIRLS ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
REASON 2: CAN'T SATISFY THE NEEDS OF THE GUY (SEXUALLY, OR EMOTIONALLY, OR WHAT I DON'T KNOW.)
REASON 3: CAUSE THE GUY LOST THAT SO CALLED FEELING OR LOVE FOR HER FOR ANOTHER PERSON.
REASON 4: I DONT KNOW.
MAYBE THERE'S MANY MANY MORE.
UPON HEARING IT, I TELL YOU MAN, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. YOU SAID YOU'RE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN ME, WHICH IS A VERY BAD WORD ALREADY TO YOU. CAUSE IT SHOWS THAT THE WAY YOU TREAT ME WILL CHANGE OR WHATEVER. AIYA. I HECK LA. TO SPEAK OF THE TRUTH. I DO THINK I'VE FALLEN FOR HIS FUCKING BRAINS. WHICH I CALL MYSELF DUMB. CAUSE I'VE ONLY FELT IT AFTER THE BREAK-UP. AND I THINK THAT WOAH, ACTUALLY I WON'T BE THAT SAD AFTERALL BY NUMBING MYSELF, BUT I GUESS I'M NOT. SORRY FOR SHOWING MY WEAKNESS HERE. THAT'S ME. YEA, I'VE LOST SOMETHING. OR RATHER, SOMEONE SO IMPT TO ME. SO BRAINY, HANDSOME, WILL MAKE BIG BUCKS ONE DAY. PPL WHO TRUSTS AND LIKE SO MUCH, MAYBE LOVE TOO??? CAUSE EVERYONE TELLS ME THAT HE SAID MANY PPL WANT HIM SO BADLY. IT'S LIKE YOU KNOW, A CRAVING THAT ONLY THAT ONE CAN HAVE?? BEATS ME.. MAYBE AFTERALL HE IS THAT GREAT.
BUT COME ON... WE'RE HUMANS. GOD MADE US AND IT'S NOT FOR US TO ACTUALLY BE IMPERFECT. IT'S THE SIN THAT ADAM AND EVE COMMITTED WHICH LED TILL TODAY. AND IT'S GOING ON AND ON. FUCK. AND YES, HE SEEMS TO THINK THAT HE IS ALWAYS SUPER PERFECT, THE WAY HE TALKS I DO ADMIT. I DO LOOK UP TO HIM IF IM A FRIEND, BUT AS A GF FOR ONCE, FUCKING DAMN YOU. I DON'T. REASON.... IT'S ALL UP THERE. NOT ALL. SOME ARE NOT THERE AS I'VE YET TO FUCKING FINISH IT. I LEARNT ALL THIS FUCKING THIS FROM HIM. FUCK ALL THE WAY LO. NEVER IN MY LIFE DO GUYS OR RATHER BF USE SUCH A WORD AT ME. IF YOU'RE ANGRY I UNDERSTAND I CAN JUST CLOSE ONE EYE. AFTER BREAKING UP, I ANNOUNCE, HE BROKE UP WITH ME. SO I DIDN'T SPOIL HIS EGO. IT'S BEING NICE. AND ALTHOUGH I WANNA TAKE HIM BACK BUT I GUESS THE FEELING WON'T BE THERE, CAUSE HE TOLD ME HE PUT IN A LOT FOR ME. I THINK STILL OK ACTUALLY. WHAT HE DID FOR ME?? DID HE ONCE PUT HIMSELF IN MY SHOES?? MAYBE I'VE YET TO UNDERSTAND HIM THOROUGHLY WHICH MADE ME DARN DUMB TO JUMP INTO A RELATIONSHIP AFTER LIKE SO LONG. CAUSE I ACTUALLY STEREOTYPE GUYS TO THE EXTEND. AND YA. HE PROVED ME SORT OF RIGHT. ALL GUYS WILL STILL REMAIN. AHHH.. SAD. WANT GIRLS. THEN FIND WHOEVER WHO HAS FISH TANKS, EHHH.... INTRO ME GIRLS LEHX. I WANNA KNOW THEM. VERY SAD NOW LA. HELP LA... FUCK YOU LA. FUCKING HELL. AND THAT WAS WHEN WE'VE NOT BROKEN UP. THINK I'M DUMB AH. WANT TO DO STH NASTY OR MAYBE CHEAT. ALSO NOT LIKE THAT. ALSO. ADVISE YOUR BROTHER KY . WANNA CHEAT GIRLS OR THE SO CALLED FUCK BUDDY HE HAD, COME ON, USE STH MUCH BETTER. I TOLD HER THINGS THAT I THINK SHE SHOULD KNOW. CAUSE SHE SERIOUSLY LOVES HIM. AND I'VE ONLY ASKED IF SHE KNEW THAT GIRL IS COMING BACK. GOT PROB?? YOU CAN HELP YOUR BRO. I CAN'T HELP HER LA. I'M STANDING AT THE POINT FOR A GIRL/ WOMEN. THINK OF IT AT THE END OF THE DAY, IF YOU WERE HER, YOU LIKE IT? BEG ME NOT TO TELL, SAYING YOU'RE CONFUSED. FUCK. IF YOU'RE CONFUSED THEN YOU SHOULDNT USE HER AS SOME SPARE TIRE IN THE FIRST PLACE, IF YOU'VE FINISHED TOYING HER THEN CHUCK HER ASIDE, WHY STILL HOLD ON TO HER FOR SO LONG??? AND CAN YOU RESIST THE TEMPTATION??? THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ARE SEXUALLY CONNECTED ONCE, OH MY GOSH, DON'T KNOW CONNECTED TO HOW MANY PEOPLE LA. I JUST FIND IT ATROCIOUS. GET STDS FROM THERE. STILL CAN ACCEPT SUCH A PERSON, MAYBE IM BEING OUT DATED. NOT OPENED ENOUGH. HELLO??? I CAN BE. I JUST DONT WANNA BE. DOWNGRADE WOMEN. DOWNGRADE MYSELF, EMBARASS MY PARENTS AT THE END OF THE DAY EVEN IF THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW. AIYA. I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN. MY THOUGHTS ARE RUNNING WILD.
AND SO IT'S ALSO BECAUSE OF THIS. 2 BROTHERS CAN GANG UP TO CONCEIVE THEIR FRIEND ( THE GIRL). FOOK YOU 2. SO NICE IS IT? STILL SAY PPL LIKE YOU AND TRUST YOU TO THE CORE. MAYBE THE OTHER GUYS THINK YOU'RE RIGHT LA. CAUSE THOSE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKES YOU. MY FUCKING GUY FRIENDS WILL JUST KILL ME LA. CAUSE AT THE LEAST THEY'RE REAL GUYS. THEY WILL STILL UDS THAT IT SUCKS LIVING ON EARTH LIKE THAT. BLOODY GO HELL.
YOU CAN SAY I'M IMMATURE. ASK ME TO FUCKING FUCKING GROW UP. 18 ALREADY. YEA. I AM SO CHILDISH, THIS IS HOW I AM. I AM SO SO STUBBORN I THINK I'M ALWAYS RIGHT. AT THE END OF THE DAY IF I'M WRONG I WILL ADMIT IT. HAVE YOU REGRETTED?? MAYBE NOT. CAUSE IT'S MY LOST. I EMPHASISE. I'M A SORE LOSER. I SUCK. PUTTING UP SUCH A POST TO MAKE PPL WORST OFF. CAUSE IM IDIOT PATHETIC. WHATEVER IT IS I DONT CARE WHAT ARE THE COMMENTS. CAUSE I'VE ENOUGH OF MY OWN PROBS TO SOLVE ALREADY. AND IT KILLS ME. I THOUGHT HAVING A R/S WITH YOU WILL BE NICE. BUT SATISFYING ONE'S NEED IS QUITE HARD YOU KNOW. AFTERALL YOU SAID YOU'RE A GUY. IF THE GIRL LOVES HIM WHOLEHEARTEDLY SHE WILL DO ANTH FOR HIM. RIGHT. I DONT THINK SEX=LOVE BTW. YES I KNOW IT DOES. BUT.. WELL, FROM WHAT I HEARD FROM KY, GO FUCK HER LA. THEN SHE WILL LOVE YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY. DAMN YOU LA KY. IS THAT HOW U SHOWED UR LOVE TO HER??? I DONT EVEN THINK U LOVE HER. U LOVE HER FOR THAT CRINGE OF WANT AND CRAVING. SPLASHING YOUR SPERMS AROUND IN HER BOSOM. FUCK YOU.
NO YOU DON'T. CAUSE U SAID YOU DIDNT. AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES.. THE GIST OF IT. HIS MESSAGE: YOU KNOW YOURSELF WHAT YOU TOLD XXX.... WHAT YOU CALLED ME... (PS: I CALLED HIM A BASTARD ONLY AND DIDN'T SPREAD ANY SHIT ABOUT HIM) OK.. THINGS HAPPEN AND I WILL KNOW. CAUSE PPL LIKE ME AND TRUST ME. IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE. YOU ONLY MADE YOURSELF LOOKED BAD. ... ZZZ READ ALREADY I WANNA SLEEP. FUCK LA. WHY MUST I DO SUCH A THING. DO I LOOK SO IMMATURE TO YOU? I'VE PASSED THAT STAGE. IDIOT LA. AND WHEN YOU SAID 1.06AM BREAK UP. MAYBE YOU'RE SAD OR DISAPPOINTED, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU DID. CAUSE YOU TOLD ME, IF YOU WANT ME BACK THEN TAKE ME BACK, BUT I WILL DECLARE MYSELF AS SINGLE AND OPEN MYSELF TO MANY OUT THERE. GO LO. SINCE YOU SAID YOU'RE FREAKING POPULAR RIGHT. AND IT'S LIKE SAYING HEY SI'EN YOU'VE LOST MAN, MOVE ON. WHY WANNA CRY OVER SPILT MILK ONE DAY. FUCK LA. MAYBE I'VE DID MANY STUFFS THAT MADE HIM HIT THE LIMIT. OH WELL, HE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHOM I CAN SAY I CAN'T REALLY RELATE EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM TO. CAUSE OF WHAT HE MENTIONED EARLIER ON, MANY STUFFS ACTUALLY. AND IT KEPT RINGING IN MY FUCKING LOUSY BRAIN. IM NOT BEING PATHETIC AND ASKING PPL TO PITY ME. CAUSE LIKE WHAT HE SAID CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THAT PITIFUL WORLD OF YOURS YOU WON'T SUCCEED. HELLO, YOUR LIFE IS SO NICELY BRANCHED OUT. I'M SO DIFF AND I DONT WISH TO EXPLAIN TOO. CAUSE WE'VE CALLED QUITS. I TOLD YOU TO FORGET ME ONCE AND FOR ALL GO LOOK FOR YOUR BETTER CHOICES, YEA WHY I SAID THAT?? CAUSE I'M FREAKING PISSED AT MYSELF AND AT HIM TOO. SINCE I'VE NOT PUT IN ALL SINCE DAY 1. NO I'M WRONG. NOT DAY 1. DONT KNOW FROM WHICH DAY ONWARDS, I FELT THAT I SHOULD ISOLATE FROM HIM, AS WHAT HE SAID OR DO IMPACTED ME LOADS. HMMM.. SO OF COURSE, HE THINKS THAT WAY.. SO HE SAID FORGET ME LO.
AIYA. IM TOO LAZY ALREADY. FUCKING TIRED AFTER WORKING AND STUDYING. I DON'T MIND BEING WORKAHOLIC EARNING THAT PATHETIC MONEY THAT I WILL GET. . CAUSE MY LIFE IS ALREADY FATED. I'M SO PITIFUL AND PATHETIC. I LOVE TO LIVE IN IT. SAYING YOU'VE GONE THRU SHIT. I UDS THOSE SHIT. BUT I GUESS YOU'RE NOT TOTALLY EMOTIONALLY HURT BEFORE. CAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU WILL KNOW HOW I FEEL. TELLING ME STORIES ABOUT YOUR EX. YOU DON'T LIKE ME TALKING ABOUT THEM, YOU AUTO CAN TELL ME ANYTIME. AND LOVES COMPARING ME WITH THEM OR ANY GIRLS IN YOUR LIFE. SINCE WHEN I COMPARED YOU?? FUCK. I HATE PPL COMPARING ME AND YEA I'M NOT HOT LA, NOT SEXY, DON'T HAVE NICE BODY OR WHATEVER CAN'T SATISFY YOUR NEEDS. FIND SOME HOT BABE LA. THOUGHT YOU WANNA KNOW MANY SUPER HOT GIRLS. NO ONE CAN STOP YOU.
YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS CHEATING ON YOU. I WON'T CAUSE IT SUCKS LA. LIVE SUCH A STUPID LIFE. FLING YOUR HEAD. INSULT ME AS SOMEONE WHO WANNA FLING. THINK OF IT.
I WAS HURT DEEPLY. I COULDN'T SLEEP PROPERLY AT NIGHT. SUPER STRESSED BY IT. BUT I STILL THINK IM ALRIGHT. HE THINKS I HURT HIM A LOT. AND I ALSO THOUGHT SO. I TOLD MYSELF HE HAS NEVER EVER HURT ME BEFORE. I DONT EVEN KNOW, CAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF HURT HE HAS INFLICTED IN ME.
I SHALL CONTINUE AGAIN ONCE I'VE SORTED OUT MY THOUGHTS.
I'M FUCKING TIRED AND CONFUSED. MOREVER, I CAN'T THINK ANYMORE. I CAN STILL TALK TO MY GF LAUGHING LIKE MAD. AS IF NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED. JUST THAT I MYSELF AND THEY THINK THAT I AM SUPER DUPER HYPERACTIVE. I CAN TALK WITH ENERGY ALTHOUGH IM ALREADY SO SOUR.....
GOOD NIGHT. SHALL RANT AGAIN. CAUSE I'M NOT SLEEPING..
GOING TO SWETTENHAM ROAD TMR. BIG HOUSE, CARS AND WINES. WAOH. I LURVE IT. SURPRISINGLY I DIDNT DRINK THIS TIME. MOST OF THE TIME I WILL.. I SHALL KEEP MY BODY SHAPE BETTER. CAUSE IT'S ALREADY BAD ENOUGH. IN CASE ONE DAY HE GO AROUND TELLING HIS FRIENDS, EH SHE'S ACTUALLY LIKE THAT ONE LA. NO KICK LA. AIYA. NO ONE WANTS. YOU WANT AH. 50CENTS CAN BUY HER. FUCK YOU.
MY GOOD IMPRESSION OF YOU HAS GONE DOWN THE DRAIN. AND I THINK SUPER HIGHLY OF YOU. MANY PPL CALCULATED HOW CLOSE WE CAN BE TOGETHER. I THINK IT'S THE REVERSE NOW. THE CALCULATIONS ARE ALL ZZZZZZZZ. WRONG.
AND I DO RESPECT YOU ALL THE TIME. DID YOU?? QUESTION YOURSELF.
PPL DO FALL ONE DAY. AND I'VE REALISED MY MISTAKES ALREADY. DO PROMPT ME IF I'VE STATED ANTH THAT'S NOT FACTUAL OR ACCURATE AT THE POINT OF TIME.
YOU CAN SAY I MIA FOR LONG AND DON'T CARE. BUT I DO ALL THE TIME. JUST THAT THOSE WORDS AND INCIDENTS PLAYED A BIG PART IN ME ALREADY.
GOODBYE.
FFFFF. IM NOT GONNA CARE HOW I WRITE NOW. I SHALL JUST RANT LIKE SHIT BUSINESS. I FEEL LIKE FFFF----INGGGGGGGG PPL. AND IN MY SENSE. NOT THE SENSE OF HAVING CASUAL FUCKING FREE SEX. OR USE PPL AS SEX TOOL LIKE YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. I MAY SOUND VERY VULGAR HERE NOW. CAUSE IM SUPER PISSED, CONFUSED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT'S LOVE. IM LIKE HOOKED BY IT ALREADY. DO I LOVE??? YES / NO?? I SAID I DONT KNOW. SAY I WANNA JUST FLING. SIAO AH. KNN.. U THINK I'M THAT KIND. I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE. LIKE HOW U TREAT GIRLS. SO NICE LO. ME? I THINK IT'S JUST WHAT EVERY BF WILL DO AT LEAST. MY TRUST FOR HIM OR RATHER MY LOVE FOR HIM SORT OF FADED. MAYBE NOT FADED. IT'S LIKE DEMORALIZING FOR SOMEONE TO HEAR THAT OOHH. PEOPLE/ HUMAN ARE WHAT???.. CIVILIZED. AND MOREOVER, BECAUSE OF THAT WE WILL TEND TO LOOK FOR FRESHER STUFFS. YES INDEED, TO THAT POINT. I FUCKING AGREE, BUT THE OTHER PART COMES IN, WHY DO BOYFRIENDS (GUYS) CHEAT ON THEIR GFs????
REASON 1: THE GIRLS ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
REASON 2: CAN'T SATISFY THE NEEDS OF THE GUY (SEXUALLY, OR EMOTIONALLY, OR WHAT I DON'T KNOW.)
REASON 3: CAUSE THE GUY LOST THAT SO CALLED FEELING OR LOVE FOR HER FOR ANOTHER PERSON.
REASON 4: I DONT KNOW.
MAYBE THERE'S MANY MANY MORE.
UPON HEARING IT, I TELL YOU MAN, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. YOU SAID YOU'RE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN ME, WHICH IS A VERY BAD WORD ALREADY TO YOU. CAUSE IT SHOWS THAT THE WAY YOU TREAT ME WILL CHANGE OR WHATEVER. AIYA. I HECK LA. TO SPEAK OF THE TRUTH. I DO THINK I'VE FALLEN FOR HIS FUCKING BRAINS. WHICH I CALL MYSELF DUMB. CAUSE I'VE ONLY FELT IT AFTER THE BREAK-UP. AND I THINK THAT WOAH, ACTUALLY I WON'T BE THAT SAD AFTERALL BY NUMBING MYSELF, BUT I GUESS I'M NOT. SORRY FOR SHOWING MY WEAKNESS HERE. THAT'S ME. YEA, I'VE LOST SOMETHING. OR RATHER, SOMEONE SO IMPT TO ME. SO BRAINY, HANDSOME, WILL MAKE BIG BUCKS ONE DAY. PPL WHO TRUSTS AND LIKE SO MUCH, MAYBE LOVE TOO??? CAUSE EVERYONE TELLS ME THAT HE SAID MANY PPL WANT HIM SO BADLY. IT'S LIKE YOU KNOW, A CRAVING THAT ONLY THAT ONE CAN HAVE?? BEATS ME.. MAYBE AFTERALL HE IS THAT GREAT.
BUT COME ON... WE'RE HUMANS. GOD MADE US AND IT'S NOT FOR US TO ACTUALLY BE IMPERFECT. IT'S THE SIN THAT ADAM AND EVE COMMITTED WHICH LED TILL TODAY. AND IT'S GOING ON AND ON. FUCK. AND YES, HE SEEMS TO THINK THAT HE IS ALWAYS SUPER PERFECT, THE WAY HE TALKS I DO ADMIT. I DO LOOK UP TO HIM IF IM A FRIEND, BUT AS A GF FOR ONCE, FUCKING DAMN YOU. I DON'T. REASON.... IT'S ALL UP THERE. NOT ALL. SOME ARE NOT THERE AS I'VE YET TO FUCKING FINISH IT. I LEARNT ALL THIS FUCKING THIS FROM HIM. FUCK ALL THE WAY LO. NEVER IN MY LIFE DO GUYS OR RATHER BF USE SUCH A WORD AT ME. IF YOU'RE ANGRY I UNDERSTAND I CAN JUST CLOSE ONE EYE. AFTER BREAKING UP, I ANNOUNCE, HE BROKE UP WITH ME. SO I DIDN'T SPOIL HIS EGO. IT'S BEING NICE. AND ALTHOUGH I WANNA TAKE HIM BACK BUT I GUESS THE FEELING WON'T BE THERE, CAUSE HE TOLD ME HE PUT IN A LOT FOR ME. I THINK STILL OK ACTUALLY. WHAT HE DID FOR ME?? DID HE ONCE PUT HIMSELF IN MY SHOES?? MAYBE I'VE YET TO UNDERSTAND HIM THOROUGHLY WHICH MADE ME DARN DUMB TO JUMP INTO A RELATIONSHIP AFTER LIKE SO LONG. CAUSE I ACTUALLY STEREOTYPE GUYS TO THE EXTEND. AND YA. HE PROVED ME SORT OF RIGHT. ALL GUYS WILL STILL REMAIN. AHHH.. SAD. WANT GIRLS. THEN FIND WHOEVER WHO HAS FISH TANKS, EHHH.... INTRO ME GIRLS LEHX. I WANNA KNOW THEM. VERY SAD NOW LA. HELP LA... FUCK YOU LA. FUCKING HELL. AND THAT WAS WHEN WE'VE NOT BROKEN UP. THINK I'M DUMB AH. WANT TO DO STH NASTY OR MAYBE CHEAT. ALSO NOT LIKE THAT. ALSO. ADVISE YOUR BROTHER KY . WANNA CHEAT GIRLS OR THE SO CALLED FUCK BUDDY HE HAD, COME ON, USE STH MUCH BETTER. I TOLD HER THINGS THAT I THINK SHE SHOULD KNOW. CAUSE SHE SERIOUSLY LOVES HIM. AND I'VE ONLY ASKED IF SHE KNEW THAT GIRL IS COMING BACK. GOT PROB?? YOU CAN HELP YOUR BRO. I CAN'T HELP HER LA. I'M STANDING AT THE POINT FOR A GIRL/ WOMEN. THINK OF IT AT THE END OF THE DAY, IF YOU WERE HER, YOU LIKE IT? BEG ME NOT TO TELL, SAYING YOU'RE CONFUSED. FUCK. IF YOU'RE CONFUSED THEN YOU SHOULDNT USE HER AS SOME SPARE TIRE IN THE FIRST PLACE, IF YOU'VE FINISHED TOYING HER THEN CHUCK HER ASIDE, WHY STILL HOLD ON TO HER FOR SO LONG??? AND CAN YOU RESIST THE TEMPTATION??? THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ARE SEXUALLY CONNECTED ONCE, OH MY GOSH, DON'T KNOW CONNECTED TO HOW MANY PEOPLE LA. I JUST FIND IT ATROCIOUS. GET STDS FROM THERE. STILL CAN ACCEPT SUCH A PERSON, MAYBE IM BEING OUT DATED. NOT OPENED ENOUGH. HELLO??? I CAN BE. I JUST DONT WANNA BE. DOWNGRADE WOMEN. DOWNGRADE MYSELF, EMBARASS MY PARENTS AT THE END OF THE DAY EVEN IF THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW. AIYA. I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN. MY THOUGHTS ARE RUNNING WILD.
AND SO IT'S ALSO BECAUSE OF THIS. 2 BROTHERS CAN GANG UP TO CONCEIVE THEIR FRIEND ( THE GIRL). FOOK YOU 2. SO NICE IS IT? STILL SAY PPL LIKE YOU AND TRUST YOU TO THE CORE. MAYBE THE OTHER GUYS THINK YOU'RE RIGHT LA. CAUSE THOSE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKES YOU. MY FUCKING GUY FRIENDS WILL JUST KILL ME LA. CAUSE AT THE LEAST THEY'RE REAL GUYS. THEY WILL STILL UDS THAT IT SUCKS LIVING ON EARTH LIKE THAT. BLOODY GO HELL.
YOU CAN SAY I'M IMMATURE. ASK ME TO FUCKING FUCKING GROW UP. 18 ALREADY. YEA. I AM SO CHILDISH, THIS IS HOW I AM. I AM SO SO STUBBORN I THINK I'M ALWAYS RIGHT. AT THE END OF THE DAY IF I'M WRONG I WILL ADMIT IT. HAVE YOU REGRETTED?? MAYBE NOT. CAUSE IT'S MY LOST. I EMPHASISE. I'M A SORE LOSER. I SUCK. PUTTING UP SUCH A POST TO MAKE PPL WORST OFF. CAUSE IM IDIOT PATHETIC. WHATEVER IT IS I DONT CARE WHAT ARE THE COMMENTS. CAUSE I'VE ENOUGH OF MY OWN PROBS TO SOLVE ALREADY. AND IT KILLS ME. I THOUGHT HAVING A R/S WITH YOU WILL BE NICE. BUT SATISFYING ONE'S NEED IS QUITE HARD YOU KNOW. AFTERALL YOU SAID YOU'RE A GUY. IF THE GIRL LOVES HIM WHOLEHEARTEDLY SHE WILL DO ANTH FOR HIM. RIGHT. I DONT THINK SEX=LOVE BTW. YES I KNOW IT DOES. BUT.. WELL, FROM WHAT I HEARD FROM KY, GO FUCK HER LA. THEN SHE WILL LOVE YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY. DAMN YOU LA KY. IS THAT HOW U SHOWED UR LOVE TO HER??? I DONT EVEN THINK U LOVE HER. U LOVE HER FOR THAT CRINGE OF WANT AND CRAVING. SPLASHING YOUR SPERMS AROUND IN HER BOSOM. FUCK YOU.
NO YOU DON'T. CAUSE U SAID YOU DIDNT. AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES.. THE GIST OF IT. HIS MESSAGE: YOU KNOW YOURSELF WHAT YOU TOLD XXX.... WHAT YOU CALLED ME... (PS: I CALLED HIM A BASTARD ONLY AND DIDN'T SPREAD ANY SHIT ABOUT HIM) OK.. THINGS HAPPEN AND I WILL KNOW. CAUSE PPL LIKE ME AND TRUST ME. IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE. YOU ONLY MADE YOURSELF LOOKED BAD. ... ZZZ READ ALREADY I WANNA SLEEP. FUCK LA. WHY MUST I DO SUCH A THING. DO I LOOK SO IMMATURE TO YOU? I'VE PASSED THAT STAGE. IDIOT LA. AND WHEN YOU SAID 1.06AM BREAK UP. MAYBE YOU'RE SAD OR DISAPPOINTED, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU DID. CAUSE YOU TOLD ME, IF YOU WANT ME BACK THEN TAKE ME BACK, BUT I WILL DECLARE MYSELF AS SINGLE AND OPEN MYSELF TO MANY OUT THERE. GO LO. SINCE YOU SAID YOU'RE FREAKING POPULAR RIGHT. AND IT'S LIKE SAYING HEY SI'EN YOU'VE LOST MAN, MOVE ON. WHY WANNA CRY OVER SPILT MILK ONE DAY. FUCK LA. MAYBE I'VE DID MANY STUFFS THAT MADE HIM HIT THE LIMIT. OH WELL, HE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHOM I CAN SAY I CAN'T REALLY RELATE EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM TO. CAUSE OF WHAT HE MENTIONED EARLIER ON, MANY STUFFS ACTUALLY. AND IT KEPT RINGING IN MY FUCKING LOUSY BRAIN. IM NOT BEING PATHETIC AND ASKING PPL TO PITY ME. CAUSE LIKE WHAT HE SAID CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THAT PITIFUL WORLD OF YOURS YOU WON'T SUCCEED. HELLO, YOUR LIFE IS SO NICELY BRANCHED OUT. I'M SO DIFF AND I DONT WISH TO EXPLAIN TOO. CAUSE WE'VE CALLED QUITS. I TOLD YOU TO FORGET ME ONCE AND FOR ALL GO LOOK FOR YOUR BETTER CHOICES, YEA WHY I SAID THAT?? CAUSE I'M FREAKING PISSED AT MYSELF AND AT HIM TOO. SINCE I'VE NOT PUT IN ALL SINCE DAY 1. NO I'M WRONG. NOT DAY 1. DONT KNOW FROM WHICH DAY ONWARDS, I FELT THAT I SHOULD ISOLATE FROM HIM, AS WHAT HE SAID OR DO IMPACTED ME LOADS. HMMM.. SO OF COURSE, HE THINKS THAT WAY.. SO HE SAID FORGET ME LO.
AIYA. IM TOO LAZY ALREADY. FUCKING TIRED AFTER WORKING AND STUDYING. I DON'T MIND BEING WORKAHOLIC EARNING THAT PATHETIC MONEY THAT I WILL GET. . CAUSE MY LIFE IS ALREADY FATED. I'M SO PITIFUL AND PATHETIC. I LOVE TO LIVE IN IT. SAYING YOU'VE GONE THRU SHIT. I UDS THOSE SHIT. BUT I GUESS YOU'RE NOT TOTALLY EMOTIONALLY HURT BEFORE. CAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU WILL KNOW HOW I FEEL. TELLING ME STORIES ABOUT YOUR EX. YOU DON'T LIKE ME TALKING ABOUT THEM, YOU AUTO CAN TELL ME ANYTIME. AND LOVES COMPARING ME WITH THEM OR ANY GIRLS IN YOUR LIFE. SINCE WHEN I COMPARED YOU?? FUCK. I HATE PPL COMPARING ME AND YEA I'M NOT HOT LA, NOT SEXY, DON'T HAVE NICE BODY OR WHATEVER CAN'T SATISFY YOUR NEEDS. FIND SOME HOT BABE LA. THOUGHT YOU WANNA KNOW MANY SUPER HOT GIRLS. NO ONE CAN STOP YOU.
YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS CHEATING ON YOU. I WON'T CAUSE IT SUCKS LA. LIVE SUCH A STUPID LIFE. FLING YOUR HEAD. INSULT ME AS SOMEONE WHO WANNA FLING. THINK OF IT.
I WAS HURT DEEPLY. I COULDN'T SLEEP PROPERLY AT NIGHT. SUPER STRESSED BY IT. BUT I STILL THINK IM ALRIGHT. HE THINKS I HURT HIM A LOT. AND I ALSO THOUGHT SO. I TOLD MYSELF HE HAS NEVER EVER HURT ME BEFORE. I DONT EVEN KNOW, CAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF HURT HE HAS INFLICTED IN ME.
I SHALL CONTINUE AGAIN ONCE I'VE SORTED OUT MY THOUGHTS.
I'M FUCKING TIRED AND CONFUSED. MOREVER, I CAN'T THINK ANYMORE. I CAN STILL TALK TO MY GF LAUGHING LIKE MAD. AS IF NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED. JUST THAT I MYSELF AND THEY THINK THAT I AM SUPER DUPER HYPERACTIVE. I CAN TALK WITH ENERGY ALTHOUGH IM ALREADY SO SOUR.....
GOOD NIGHT. SHALL RANT AGAIN. CAUSE I'M NOT SLEEPING..
GOING TO SWETTENHAM ROAD TMR. BIG HOUSE, CARS AND WINES. WAOH. I LURVE IT. SURPRISINGLY I DIDNT DRINK THIS TIME. MOST OF THE TIME I WILL.. I SHALL KEEP MY BODY SHAPE BETTER. CAUSE IT'S ALREADY BAD ENOUGH. IN CASE ONE DAY HE GO AROUND TELLING HIS FRIENDS, EH SHE'S ACTUALLY LIKE THAT ONE LA. NO KICK LA. AIYA. NO ONE WANTS. YOU WANT AH. 50CENTS CAN BUY HER. FUCK YOU.
MY GOOD IMPRESSION OF YOU HAS GONE DOWN THE DRAIN. AND I THINK SUPER HIGHLY OF YOU. MANY PPL CALCULATED HOW CLOSE WE CAN BE TOGETHER. I THINK IT'S THE REVERSE NOW. THE CALCULATIONS ARE ALL ZZZZZZZZ. WRONG.
AND I DO RESPECT YOU ALL THE TIME. DID YOU?? QUESTION YOURSELF.
PPL DO FALL ONE DAY. AND I'VE REALISED MY MISTAKES ALREADY. DO PROMPT ME IF I'VE STATED ANTH THAT'S NOT FACTUAL OR ACCURATE AT THE POINT OF TIME.
YOU CAN SAY I MIA FOR LONG AND DON'T CARE. BUT I DO ALL THE TIME. JUST THAT THOSE WORDS AND INCIDENTS PLAYED A BIG PART IN ME ALREADY.
GOODBYE.
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
November 2007
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..