i am never good at words - even expressing my own feelings. so how could i even care about others? and i'm really blessed to have seriously good friends around me. I do really thank them a lot. As they're my pillar of strength, although I have to rely on myself at the end of the day. Fate is decided upon yourself. just had a tough time alone and although some tried to cheer me up, i couldn't control but just burst out and breakdown. I know I am not alone as they'll still be there physically/emotionally. Emotionally which most of them were doing and are doing. =) Thank you my dear friends and my managers/boss. You are people who are much older and have experienced much more in life especially in the case for love.
Although I've heard about such sayings: It is hard to let go of someone you love but trust me, time will heal if you both are not meant to be.
remember to be fair to yourself too, cannot just give and give then you will end up being so exhausted and drained and it will not be love anymore cos he doesn't even love you enough to consider your welfare
then u gotta decide if your love is strong enough to last through this
cos love is not blind and dumb
it requires your mind and heart also
so you cannot force yourself to pretend nothing and continue to love him. sometimes some people make good bf but not good hubby
cry it out and you will feel better
but then you will be very tired tomorrow
then your eyes wil be swollen, you gotta put cold cucumber on your eyes
it is not easy i know and times like this, as God put you through this test i am sure He is teaching something from it and also, you put God to the test by trusting HIm completely and believing He has better plans in store for you and tat is why you are letting go and moving ahead with Him not knowing wat is ahead.
Jeraena is really good. hahas. still advise me to put cucumber on my eyes. I know it'll swell, no matter how much or how little. And it is really bad. Guess i gotta go to school in such a condition with my super tired look. zzzzz. She's married with 3 kids. And all of them are so super cute. =). I admire her actually. And also those who are attached/married too. GO on strong.
Edwin also did cheer me up online, and adding me into the conversation with those FA ID team actually pissed me cause it's personal msn. but well, it's alright. he thought i was working now.. zzz. wth. Away from that, he did say the same stuffs too and kept teasing me. One thing to note: He said I am strong. Even stronger than him especially during my time at work, woah. amazed me though. And was shocked that i am in such a state now. Cause it's just so unlike me. People dont expect me to breakdown just like that. Oh well, I am never strong, maybe i do give that first impression to people: Si'En is a brave and strong girl ( both mentally/physically).. zzzz. i doubt so whenever I have problems on my own or factors that are affecting me.
to continue again. I am really exhausted and worn out by the tears I've shed. I do not totally say I regret cause i don't want him to think that way. Eventually, it'll boost up his ego. He has really great ego up up up there. so... Saying regret out from my mouth is really hard. It'll only happen when i fail right down. which has yet to happen and I am still preventing it to happen. i don't expect anything to change or happen.
guys around me care about me a lot. And wants to be there for me and lend me their shoulders.. but i just couldnt do it. i wanted too though. but.. i think no point.. maybe if it's really time for me to do so as he is doing so.. then i will have to move on. No one can possibly cling on to something that will not exist or come back to you again. I shall try to sleep and have some rest. I have seriously not feeling healthy these few days. I have the possibility of fainting anytime. But I am strong so I can succumb it. Good night. I have 5hrs to sleep now. Didn't manage to read up on anything ever since I'm back home. I can't afford to lose time now. Sighs. And nothing's engraved in my mind - knowledge......
time for self-recharging....
panda is coming to school later on.
I shall continue again.
MONSTER is here.....
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C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
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Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
12:28 am - Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
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December 2004
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September 2005
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A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..