Happy 21st Birthday to Titan!
I hope all your dreams come true.
Common tests is drawing near.
E-learning spoiled my week and plans.
It's called extra-learning. what the heck???
After ITB which is my last paper, I will be freed.
There will be gatherings, i so wanna see my cliques and yea my besties too. Especially Mr Joson, Anli. We shall catch up real soon. So do wait for me. we shall roam around Singapore like how we normally did. heh heh. =D
In a month's time or so, it'll be my 18th birthday. Sadly to say, turning 18 sucks. haha. shall see how this year's celebration will be. Although I do have friends telling me they wanna celebrate with me. still long... Plans can change from now till then. So yea. I shall not anticipate anything. I don't really wanna celebrate too, unless anyone is able to bring that spark for me to turn 18. hohoho.
shall continue to chiong my e-learning stuffs and for Common tests. I wasted many days and time. Shall start to chiong work again once it ends. But i do need a life too. I don't mind slogging hard staying in office. As $$$ comes in, but I can't spend too much too with the damn condition. Shall spend wisely and save too.
will be back again.
monster is currently not in town.
MONSTER is here.....
navigate using the bars above. Click the PINK bar for entries.
C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
You are at MONSTER's BLOG!!!
To enter the MONSTERRICCC's WORLD...
Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
4:25 am - Thursday, May 29, 2008
1:58 am - Sunday, May 25, 2008
I AM SO SO SO SUPER LAZY TO UPDATE!!!
which is why it's been a week plus or so ever since i've updated my life. hahas.
and yea, i'm really really busy with school work and project, one more due tomorrow by 11.59pm but i gotta really chiong. Have not even started. shit!
I am so so dead.
Just came home from Titan's birthday celebration at sentosa. was rather fun and i think his army platoon mates went a little too over, just wanting to drunk him down. not too bad, i guess everyone had fun, weather was humid but the sun wasn't that bad. So I'm not tanned or whatsoever. had some games like frisbee and volleyball and the rest was chatting and etc.. Really exhausted. Was sort of scolded by my piano teacher for not turning up for class at 8am and had to reschedule it for me so many times. So I will have my lessons tomorrow at 3pm sharp. gotta be there. Most of all, I'm glad he did have fun for the Saturday, with friends from Primary, sec, JC, and many others. =D
my life has been quite ok recently. Just to add that I'm really exhausted all the time. Anyone can tell from that. Sleep at like 3am and wake up at 7am, then my whole day ends the same time again. Woah. That is why!!!
Common test is starting real soon, with e-learning week, I'm just gonna be dead too. Gonna make myself healthy first. It's really impt.
My life is complicated, so I am a complicated person. It's really hard to understand me, but soon enough, you will understand me if you do want to. I don't really understand myself either at certain times. I'm just somewhat a girl who wants to lead and live an ordinary lifestyle, to be pampered and all. To be loved, taken care of, gain attention from people around me.
but.....
Most of all - all i need is true happiness! without that, I can't relate to myself or to anyone. I show my feelings easily, or rather, sometimes, I don't show but people could sense it somehow from afar. I do hope that I will be the Si'En that people really knew once again. Like what my best friend had told me. He said: " Si'En, you're once the cute and innocent girl I've known, but right now, you're not the Si'En that was before. You're once that girl." It's a brief statement from my friend. Upon hearing that, I thought deeply, maybe I do change, or nurture has proven me to be that way. Oh well, I know I have to be myself at the end of the day. I will work on it! Do not be offended by me in the way I speak in real person, MSN, SMS or whatsoever. I'm really being myself and is trying my very best. If you're my friend, good, best, or just a normal friend to me, I will treat you equally the same, be it in the way i bring myself to you. But for like deeper relationships, best friend, buddy, all sorts, which is only a few and my cliques, you do know how I am. You guys should be honoured to have a great and wonderful friend like me. Maybe not that wonderful and great, but I did my very best. Last of all, to him, I do not know how to bring myself to you at times, I just can't really relate myself to you in some manner, like talking rubbish or making nonsensical kinds of remarks or thoughts. Sometimes, I do wonder, could I be myself when I'm with you. we'll see then.
To sleep really soon. JAVIER - DONT PMS already!!!! hahas. I don't PMS that often though. hee.. cheer up dude. you're the laughing tool to me at least. or anyone else. yepps..
which is why it's been a week plus or so ever since i've updated my life. hahas.
and yea, i'm really really busy with school work and project, one more due tomorrow by 11.59pm but i gotta really chiong. Have not even started. shit!
I am so so dead.
Just came home from Titan's birthday celebration at sentosa. was rather fun and i think his army platoon mates went a little too over, just wanting to drunk him down. not too bad, i guess everyone had fun, weather was humid but the sun wasn't that bad. So I'm not tanned or whatsoever. had some games like frisbee and volleyball and the rest was chatting and etc.. Really exhausted. Was sort of scolded by my piano teacher for not turning up for class at 8am and had to reschedule it for me so many times. So I will have my lessons tomorrow at 3pm sharp. gotta be there. Most of all, I'm glad he did have fun for the Saturday, with friends from Primary, sec, JC, and many others. =D
my life has been quite ok recently. Just to add that I'm really exhausted all the time. Anyone can tell from that. Sleep at like 3am and wake up at 7am, then my whole day ends the same time again. Woah. That is why!!!
Common test is starting real soon, with e-learning week, I'm just gonna be dead too. Gonna make myself healthy first. It's really impt.
My life is complicated, so I am a complicated person. It's really hard to understand me, but soon enough, you will understand me if you do want to. I don't really understand myself either at certain times. I'm just somewhat a girl who wants to lead and live an ordinary lifestyle, to be pampered and all. To be loved, taken care of, gain attention from people around me.
but.....
Most of all - all i need is true happiness! without that, I can't relate to myself or to anyone. I show my feelings easily, or rather, sometimes, I don't show but people could sense it somehow from afar. I do hope that I will be the Si'En that people really knew once again. Like what my best friend had told me. He said: " Si'En, you're once the cute and innocent girl I've known, but right now, you're not the Si'En that was before. You're once that girl." It's a brief statement from my friend. Upon hearing that, I thought deeply, maybe I do change, or nurture has proven me to be that way. Oh well, I know I have to be myself at the end of the day. I will work on it! Do not be offended by me in the way I speak in real person, MSN, SMS or whatsoever. I'm really being myself and is trying my very best. If you're my friend, good, best, or just a normal friend to me, I will treat you equally the same, be it in the way i bring myself to you. But for like deeper relationships, best friend, buddy, all sorts, which is only a few and my cliques, you do know how I am. You guys should be honoured to have a great and wonderful friend like me. Maybe not that wonderful and great, but I did my very best. Last of all, to him, I do not know how to bring myself to you at times, I just can't really relate myself to you in some manner, like talking rubbish or making nonsensical kinds of remarks or thoughts. Sometimes, I do wonder, could I be myself when I'm with you. we'll see then.
To sleep really soon. JAVIER - DONT PMS already!!!! hahas. I don't PMS that often though. hee.. cheer up dude. you're the laughing tool to me at least. or anyone else. yepps..
1:24 am - Thursday, May 15, 2008
BOOOO.. I've updated!!!
Yea. My best beloved Dearest Senior has just left for Shanghai. I miss her!! =D and I didn't sound like I was crying or sad ok. haha. just that I miss you! hee. Her last sentence was really touching: LOVE YOU!!!! ZOMG.. Have a fun and save trip over there, as there were recent reports about natural disasters, kind of worried. BON VOYAGE. See you soon after next sat. I will tell you how it goes for ACCO Encore! Will send your regards to them too. I bet they do miss you too.
He left for town. Which is really really unexpected. It is a sudden and short notice to me. I heard that from Anuar. I asked him if he did come to office or something for the maps, he said that he received an email from him saying he will be out of town for this short period. Wonder how short though. But... I really got nothing to say too. All I can say is.. Have a save trip too although I don't know where you're heading too since it's a kind of last minute idea. I hope you or maybe you and your friends has fun together. yepps.
and yea. Got quite of a suprise but not surprise from my special friend. Shipping of stuffs to me, the flyer and so on.. Really nice for such a plan. Shall see how it goes. It's still like 1 and a half months more to my birthday and it's a weekday which is schoolday. oh well, 18 sparks.. OLD. HAGGARD. RAGGED. haha. although it's being legal to buy cigarettes, club, drink, drive. But it will not mean a lot to me. As I've tried everything besides driving. HEH =D. Shall learn and pass my BTT during my SEM holidays. Should be enough of time for me. Gotta prepare loads of other exams too like my Grade 8 piano - I've put it on hold for a very long time already. sighs. about 4 yrs? to do my other interests or rather also to take a break too.
Came back from work. freaking tired. Slept in the office for awhile. Dad came to fetch me, ate fried rice as dinner/supper and bathed! Then now I am here.. Just gotten my pay cheque for the month of April. Not really much though. It will never be enough for me, NEVER. Too many reasons behind it, and I shall prove myself right in some ways. Also, I really gotta be an independent young grown up already. I can't always rely on the people around me.
Upcoming events -
1.ACCO Concert this Sun. 18/05
2.PBL 20/05
3. POA MCQ Quiz 20/05
4. IS CATS 24/05
and many many more.....
No movies, no nothing for now. What a life for me. And my life revolves around School and Work. Will be going to T3 in the few weeks. Maybe this week or the next. Gotta meet up with my beloved bestie - JOSON!!! MOJOJO, good luck for your J2 terms too. =D mine's coming up real real soon. Can't wait for the 2 weeks or less kind of break. I really need a good relaxing break. How I wish I can leave on a plane to a faraway place and never come back. GEEx.
Part of my day conversation with Aaron!
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
why
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
wats up buttercup
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
buttercup?
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
im not a butter
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
nor a cup
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
hahaha
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
u silly
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
buttercup is a flower
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
haha
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
yea i know
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
but do i look like one?
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
hahaha no it's just cute
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
hah
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
oh my
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
did you just say that?
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
why
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
wats wrong lol
I sound really like a noob or retard. But.. I am cute. Do you agree?? Javier you should agree to that. By looking at my MSN pic. and PETER LOVES ME!!! How great =D..
PS: it's part of a prank by my classmates. tekan me on msn and my tutor was going haywire because my class was like a havoc every wed!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY KANG! Hope you liked our surprise. Not really much though. But do enjoy your youth.
I am hugging my beloved bear now. wahaha.. Jealous?
Yea. My best beloved Dearest Senior has just left for Shanghai. I miss her!! =D and I didn't sound like I was crying or sad ok. haha. just that I miss you! hee. Her last sentence was really touching: LOVE YOU!!!! ZOMG.. Have a fun and save trip over there, as there were recent reports about natural disasters, kind of worried. BON VOYAGE. See you soon after next sat. I will tell you how it goes for ACCO Encore! Will send your regards to them too. I bet they do miss you too.
He left for town. Which is really really unexpected. It is a sudden and short notice to me. I heard that from Anuar. I asked him if he did come to office or something for the maps, he said that he received an email from him saying he will be out of town for this short period. Wonder how short though. But... I really got nothing to say too. All I can say is.. Have a save trip too although I don't know where you're heading too since it's a kind of last minute idea. I hope you or maybe you and your friends has fun together. yepps.
and yea. Got quite of a suprise but not surprise from my special friend. Shipping of stuffs to me, the flyer and so on.. Really nice for such a plan. Shall see how it goes. It's still like 1 and a half months more to my birthday and it's a weekday which is schoolday. oh well, 18 sparks.. OLD. HAGGARD. RAGGED. haha. although it's being legal to buy cigarettes, club, drink, drive. But it will not mean a lot to me. As I've tried everything besides driving. HEH =D. Shall learn and pass my BTT during my SEM holidays. Should be enough of time for me. Gotta prepare loads of other exams too like my Grade 8 piano - I've put it on hold for a very long time already. sighs. about 4 yrs? to do my other interests or rather also to take a break too.
Came back from work. freaking tired. Slept in the office for awhile. Dad came to fetch me, ate fried rice as dinner/supper and bathed! Then now I am here.. Just gotten my pay cheque for the month of April. Not really much though. It will never be enough for me, NEVER. Too many reasons behind it, and I shall prove myself right in some ways. Also, I really gotta be an independent young grown up already. I can't always rely on the people around me.
Upcoming events -
1.ACCO Concert this Sun. 18/05
2.PBL 20/05
3. POA MCQ Quiz 20/05
4. IS CATS 24/05
and many many more.....
No movies, no nothing for now. What a life for me. And my life revolves around School and Work. Will be going to T3 in the few weeks. Maybe this week or the next. Gotta meet up with my beloved bestie - JOSON!!! MOJOJO, good luck for your J2 terms too. =D mine's coming up real real soon. Can't wait for the 2 weeks or less kind of break. I really need a good relaxing break. How I wish I can leave on a plane to a faraway place and never come back. GEEx.
Part of my day conversation with Aaron!
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
why
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
wats up buttercup
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
buttercup?
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
im not a butter
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
nor a cup
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
hahaha
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
u silly
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
buttercup is a flower
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
haha
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
yea i know
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
but do i look like one?
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
hahaha no it's just cute
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
hah
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
oh my
MONSTER is OVERWHELMED whatshouldidonowfollowmyheart?? says:
did you just say that?
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
why
aaron mmmm. | bish. says:
wats wrong lol
I sound really like a noob or retard. But.. I am cute. Do you agree?? Javier you should agree to that. By looking at my MSN pic. and PETER LOVES ME!!! How great =D..
PS: it's part of a prank by my classmates. tekan me on msn and my tutor was going haywire because my class was like a havoc every wed!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY KANG! Hope you liked our surprise. Not really much though. But do enjoy your youth.
I am hugging my beloved bear now. wahaha.. Jealous?
1:06 am - Thursday, May 08, 2008
I was being asked by my good friend. Have you ever wondered why your relationship has always been more on the sexual side? I was like who the hell know? I don't know!. what he said shocked me. cause he would want to take advantage of me too. oh well, but it didnt shock me too. Because i was already in my own world crying.. He said, it's because, many people wants to test my innocence. like WTH. what is there to test of me? If I am then I am. If I'm not then too bad. You can have me whenever you all want lo. It erks me. especially when I do get to know friends or people who are like that.
So... in conclusion, don't be deceived by whatever you see and hear.
zzzz. waiting for my hair to dry. not a very bad or good day. But i shall treasure myself.
It's hard on myself. and i am being hard. so, the harder it is, the more i gotta try. i have to face reality one day too.. it will take a very long time. You guys would know, so if I am breaking apart, dont try to stop me..
So... in conclusion, don't be deceived by whatever you see and hear.
zzzz. waiting for my hair to dry. not a very bad or good day. But i shall treasure myself.
It's hard on myself. and i am being hard. so, the harder it is, the more i gotta try. i have to face reality one day too.. it will take a very long time. You guys would know, so if I am breaking apart, dont try to stop me..
12:45 am - Wednesday, May 07, 2008
I shall just make this real real quick. Because I'm running out of time now. And at such a rate I'm going, not doing tutorial, doing last minute preparation for every single thing, I will just fail or maybe not meet the standards that I've set for myself.
Just got home from work. Ended at 11:15pm. yea. reached home at 11:40. I bathed, ate a little which is called my supper(dinner). I actually didn't eat my lunch too. My lunch was my breakfast. woah!!!. Oh well, gotta chiong my presentation for later on BMGT.
I really hope that my BCOMM presentation didn't suck, I know I can do much better, way beyond standard. SIGHS!!!. =(. Although I did impress my friends, but it's like nice and sweet words to you. Get it? Thanks anyway. Shall be a good girl and study now, last minute work again. Kang is also doing so, we're in the same boat and same group. hahas. good luck to us then.
And yes - Scholarship interview... shit. such a last minute notice to me. Gotta print all my relevant stuffs. and get enough sleep, which i won't even have. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure if i should be real and nice to myself. SIGHS...
this is a continuation as I'm done with BMGT. just let Kang to edit and that's it. hopefully. Finally i got my lovely toys, soft toys i meant. haha. shall take a pic of them and post it here or should i just take it from FlowerAdvisor.com.sg? But i got it at a very very low price. haha. the price at our website is like totally freaking high though. This is called business. Do buy stuffs over there, gifts, flowers, hampers, wines, soft toys, practically everything, And it's also because i work there. The stuffs really really good. hahas. gotta work again tmr after my interview, I hope I will be selected, my schools fees isn't paid in full yet, I paid like only peanuts. WTF.. shall pay my debts soon such that I can take my exams. Damn it.
Work work work, Mug mug mug.. like i do mug. hah!. dang. My life's like really up and down turned everywhere. zzz..
He msged me, i thought was really a wrong person, or maybe I was really ignorant to it. Amazingly, I replied.
Just got home from work. Ended at 11:15pm. yea. reached home at 11:40. I bathed, ate a little which is called my supper(dinner). I actually didn't eat my lunch too. My lunch was my breakfast. woah!!!. Oh well, gotta chiong my presentation for later on BMGT.
I really hope that my BCOMM presentation didn't suck, I know I can do much better, way beyond standard. SIGHS!!!. =(. Although I did impress my friends, but it's like nice and sweet words to you. Get it? Thanks anyway. Shall be a good girl and study now, last minute work again. Kang is also doing so, we're in the same boat and same group. hahas. good luck to us then.
And yes - Scholarship interview... shit. such a last minute notice to me. Gotta print all my relevant stuffs. and get enough sleep, which i won't even have. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure if i should be real and nice to myself. SIGHS...
this is a continuation as I'm done with BMGT. just let Kang to edit and that's it. hopefully. Finally i got my lovely toys, soft toys i meant. haha. shall take a pic of them and post it here or should i just take it from FlowerAdvisor.com.sg? But i got it at a very very low price. haha. the price at our website is like totally freaking high though. This is called business. Do buy stuffs over there, gifts, flowers, hampers, wines, soft toys, practically everything, And it's also because i work there. The stuffs really really good. hahas. gotta work again tmr after my interview, I hope I will be selected, my schools fees isn't paid in full yet, I paid like only peanuts. WTF.. shall pay my debts soon such that I can take my exams. Damn it.
Work work work, Mug mug mug.. like i do mug. hah!. dang. My life's like really up and down turned everywhere. zzz..
He msged me, i thought was really a wrong person, or maybe I was really ignorant to it. Amazingly, I replied.
10:13 pm - Monday, May 05, 2008
SIGHS.. I do really have a confused life. I am confused myself too.. Living in a confusing world. Oh my. I felt like contacting him and not to.. I'm in a like dumb witted situation. I don't know how and what I'm feeling now. Although he did contact me but was unavailable since my friends told me not to bother him. My heart was like telling me to answer or reply his messages. But on the other side of my subconscious mind, it told me that I shouldn't be doing so. I guess it's because of the influence of my friends?
My Ex talked to me on msn. Was a random one. We rarely even contact.
This was how it went.
Sherman says : ": hello
Sherman says : ": sick?
MONSTER IS SICK.: yes
MONSTER IS SICK.: *heartbroken
Sherman says : ": how come?
MONSTER IS SICK.: i felt as if i was betrayed by 3 ppl
Sherman says : ": wow
MONSTER IS SICK.: and i dont know what
Sherman says : ": linked story or seperate?
MONSTER IS SICK.: is the reason why he wants me back
Sherman says : ": hmm in what sense?
MONSTER IS SICK.: like after so many that happened
MONSTER IS SICK.: when i didnt even mention that
MONSTER IS SICK.: and he said we will just end like that
MONSTER IS SICK.: but now he wants me back
MONSTER IS SICK.: tt's really weird
Sherman says : ": okay
Sherman says : ": get back to him lor
Sherman says : ": if you still feel for him
MONSTER IS SICK.: sighs
MONSTER IS SICK.: so i dont know now
MONSTER IS SICK.: my friends told me not to reply him
MONSTER IS SICK.: or ans his calls/msgs
Sherman says : ": okay i'm asking you to ask yourself what you wanna do
Sherman says : ": if your friends asks you to jump down the building you gonna do that?
MONSTER IS SICK.: no
MONSTER IS SICK.: for that i wont
that's the end of the conversation. yea. well. I'm also in a lost now. It's really in a lost.
Anyway, thank you for those who cared so much about me recently.
My dearest and beloved senior: I know you're worried bout me recently. I didn't call you back too last night. Sorry my dear. I tried calling you today, but I think you're really busy at work. Don't OT too much. Bad for your health.
Somebody tell what I should do now?? I shall tell you how I feel: I love him. And it's true.
So what should i do next??
Tearing apart but numbing myself at the same time...
At the end of everything, even whatever friend A has told me, he told me that no one can be trusted at this point of time. My friend heard that too. That was the very last time I contacted him. He did say many stuffs which made me pondered hard. Well, everyone's not reliable now. Get my sources right first, before coming to conclusions. I shall not make any assumptions. Ever since that heart to heart talk, or maybe after trying to sort of numb myself, I didn't really think about the whole incident again. It turn come into my mind, but it's an on and off kind. Well, friend A also told me at the very end, just follow your heart, if you think whatever I said was untrue, or I have any motives, you can think in that manner. Friend A said I can don't trust him, which made the previous lines quite true. A little bit of complication here and there. But... my friend said, this can be solved but it depends on yourself and the consequences of it.
Shall think about my BCOMM presentation now. I did mine wrongly. Tried to practice my speech, I couldn't talk. !!!!!!!! I'm so gonna be dead tmr.
My Ex talked to me on msn. Was a random one. We rarely even contact.
This was how it went.
Sherman says : ": hello
Sherman says : ": sick?
MONSTER IS SICK.: yes
MONSTER IS SICK.: *heartbroken
Sherman says : ": how come?
MONSTER IS SICK.: i felt as if i was betrayed by 3 ppl
Sherman says : ": wow
MONSTER IS SICK.: and i dont know what
Sherman says : ": linked story or seperate?
MONSTER IS SICK.: is the reason why he wants me back
Sherman says : ": hmm in what sense?
MONSTER IS SICK.: like after so many that happened
MONSTER IS SICK.: when i didnt even mention that
MONSTER IS SICK.: and he said we will just end like that
MONSTER IS SICK.: but now he wants me back
MONSTER IS SICK.: tt's really weird
Sherman says : ": okay
Sherman says : ": get back to him lor
Sherman says : ": if you still feel for him
MONSTER IS SICK.: sighs
MONSTER IS SICK.: so i dont know now
MONSTER IS SICK.: my friends told me not to reply him
MONSTER IS SICK.: or ans his calls/msgs
Sherman says : ": okay i'm asking you to ask yourself what you wanna do
Sherman says : ": if your friends asks you to jump down the building you gonna do that?
MONSTER IS SICK.: no
MONSTER IS SICK.: for that i wont
that's the end of the conversation. yea. well. I'm also in a lost now. It's really in a lost.
Anyway, thank you for those who cared so much about me recently.
My dearest and beloved senior: I know you're worried bout me recently. I didn't call you back too last night. Sorry my dear. I tried calling you today, but I think you're really busy at work. Don't OT too much. Bad for your health.
Somebody tell what I should do now?? I shall tell you how I feel: I love him. And it's true.
So what should i do next??
Tearing apart but numbing myself at the same time...
At the end of everything, even whatever friend A has told me, he told me that no one can be trusted at this point of time. My friend heard that too. That was the very last time I contacted him. He did say many stuffs which made me pondered hard. Well, everyone's not reliable now. Get my sources right first, before coming to conclusions. I shall not make any assumptions. Ever since that heart to heart talk, or maybe after trying to sort of numb myself, I didn't really think about the whole incident again. It turn come into my mind, but it's an on and off kind. Well, friend A also told me at the very end, just follow your heart, if you think whatever I said was untrue, or I have any motives, you can think in that manner. Friend A said I can don't trust him, which made the previous lines quite true. A little bit of complication here and there. But... my friend said, this can be solved but it depends on yourself and the consequences of it.
Shall think about my BCOMM presentation now. I did mine wrongly. Tried to practice my speech, I couldn't talk. !!!!!!!! I'm so gonna be dead tmr.
2:28 pm - Sunday, May 04, 2008
RANDOMNESS
Some Random stuffs to share : I am selected for BA ENVOYS!!! :D:D:D
Cheryl was asking if I was selected because she received email, but sadly she wasn't in. zzz. And I told her I wasn't updated, because I didn't check my Gmail Account.
Somehow it did brighten up my day. I guess... so they took my picture at the end of my interview because I'm already selected that day? geexx..
But that's only for the moment..zzz.. oh wells.
Thank you Kelvin and Boon Sun for taking over my shifts these few days. I really appreciated that. Thank you for your concerns too.
All I have to say now...
I still love him for whatever that happened. I can't change the past right?
Thinking about my presentation now. What kind of sector and job position should I get into??
Recommendations?
Some Random stuffs to share : I am selected for BA ENVOYS!!! :D:D:D
Cheryl was asking if I was selected because she received email, but sadly she wasn't in. zzz. And I told her I wasn't updated, because I didn't check my Gmail Account.
Somehow it did brighten up my day. I guess... so they took my picture at the end of my interview because I'm already selected that day? geexx..
But that's only for the moment..zzz.. oh wells.
Thank you Kelvin and Boon Sun for taking over my shifts these few days. I really appreciated that. Thank you for your concerns too.
All I have to say now...
I still love him for whatever that happened. I can't change the past right?
Thinking about my presentation now. What kind of sector and job position should I get into??
Recommendations?
1:36 pm
No more fading away. No disappearing. I did guess correctly. If I have known, I wouldn't want to know anyone already. I'm glad that you're there for me when i needed someone by my side most. I understood what you did was to allow me to start a new life and that you're not the only guy who'll be treating me well. I Sighs. sometimes I'm really really confused. I have a confusing life i guess. Reached home at 7am today. And i slept till now. And I'm currently taking a break from FlowerAdvisor.com. I'm glad that they understood my situation, but they told me that I really ought to stand on my feet again. I will go back when I'm mentally and physically fit. Colleagues and friends I will tell myself to be strong. Like what you all said. So many people (Guys) out there. I shouldn't be limiting my eyes just on one. I broke down a few times. Thank you Michael for calling and praying for me on the phone. I can't promise that I will not totally breakdown one day. But i can assure my dear friends that I will take good care of myself and not put them in the lurk worrying for me. Now, I do know that my close friends do worry about me. I thought they wouldn't since they're so busy with school and with their own lives. And it seems like I'm always there for people but no one will be there for me somehow. However, I was proven wrong. Because I didnt take the initiative to contact them.. So...I shall not bottle up feelings within my range anymore. Actually, my dear special friend, I really wanted to spend my night weeping because of the songs that I'm listening to. But I didn't. Lols. I don't want you to worry about me too. Ever since the incident, or rather, before the incident, you've tried to pull me away from that group, but i couldn't get that hint. Well, what has passed have already passed. Shall not look back again. And thank you for your thought on them too. It seems like you know them better than I do, although you don't clique with them ever since. I do hope that you take good care of yourself too. As your problems are much worst than me. Like between life and death. Don't worry I won't get drugged or will I will be drinking alone and asking for rescue. Don't kena wack by that bunch of people already. Retaliate next time. rahhhhh. =).. All I can say is - PROTECT yourself my friend.
FINALLY DONE.. MY SIS thinks i need to change my blogskin. I happened to chance upon this one. So i did some addition and edition to it. Hope it is something fresh. ;D;D
I shall eat my lunch now. As I'm suffering from deficiency already.
FINALLY DONE.. MY SIS thinks i need to change my blogskin. I happened to chance upon this one. So i did some addition and edition to it. Hope it is something fresh. ;D;D
I shall eat my lunch now. As I'm suffering from deficiency already.
11:47 pm - Friday, May 02, 2008
PEOPLE im not ok. and was never ok. I am strong! It's a fact. Jeraena also agreed when i asked her. She said i dont look strong i am strong. sighs. why i give such impressions to people. zzzzz. Even my parents think I am happy with them or whatever. Said i don't care about their lives. Dead or not. Wth. I have problems now right tt's why i didnt go home. Not as if i did something bad outside. I dont take drugs, or smoke or drink this time round. Although i wanted to. Got lobang.. aha. idiot. Came back home the first thing she did was to scold me. WTH. It's already enough adding on to much more of my frustration.
Met my sec school classmate. And she's shocked that I'm in NP. She was much more amazed that i was worst than the other time. Which is my size. She's like what happened to you? I told her i'm dying lo. terminal illness. haha. i dont mind la. i got a very bad life already.
Met my sec school classmate. And she's shocked that I'm in NP. She was much more amazed that i was worst than the other time. Which is my size. She's like what happened to you? I told her i'm dying lo. terminal illness. haha. i dont mind la. i got a very bad life already.
6:42 pm
Jeraena asked when i will be back on my feet. How long will i take to recover? She said it's 3 weeks already and i'm still the same.. After reading i was about to cry but when i called christina i cried more. WTH.. There's no ending to it. I told them maybe i will take ages? And both of them said young people.. Sighs. I'm just at a lost of words. Went to school everyone asked how was i cause i looked dead and moody. some said fierce. zzz. I told them i didnt go home for a day and appearing in school is good already. aiya. I don't know why the hell such stuffs will happen. My friend who wasnt in a r/s before said i should ask my bf first before making any assumptions. im very dumb lo. To hear from someone whom i just knew. haix. but people who are in a r/s told me not to ask him although i did follow my instincts to want to meet him straight away. all i can say is i have myself to blame. this is my 2nd mistake. like for wei kok. i also made the hell out of him. He's a nice guy and it turns out that i corrupted himself and myself. shit ah.. Can anyone tell me when will i wake up to my senses and be back on my feet???
Jackson gave me his ring.. and asked me to keep it and will never fade away from me again.
Both him and my gf thought that what ever they did for me will be ok. But i guess and they did guess that i wont.. very sorry.. I really can't help it.
Maybe i should consider using david as sparetire. Since he kept spamming me since the last few weeks, although i was really irritated and that's why i changed my number too. Should I?? Tell me. haha.
Jackson gave me his ring.. and asked me to keep it and will never fade away from me again.
Both him and my gf thought that what ever they did for me will be ok. But i guess and they did guess that i wont.. very sorry.. I really can't help it.
Maybe i should consider using david as sparetire. Since he kept spamming me since the last few weeks, although i was really irritated and that's why i changed my number too. Should I?? Tell me. haha.
11:38 am - Thursday, May 01, 2008
Some people dont seem to know anything. And blamed me for whatever i did to him. and that person is his bro. the only person who will just anyhow lecture me. WTF. I just want to tell him the reason myself. Just that it's really hard for me to bring it up.
To me - that's how i think.
1st - He don't know
2nd - He has something to hide (which he knows what's going on and doesn't know how to explain.
3rd - he doesn't even bother.
ZZZZ. Received a number of calls from my friends. I wonder i talked to whom. Cause i did pick up some. I was sleeping. I really wonder what i did then.
I really felt like giving it up. But i think i can't. DUMB.
I put everything to a standstill as I'm so helpless now. Save me from this agony.
Who fits the bill of a bastard? just tell me how you are and what you did. I shall tell you. If you ever want to know. =) Cheers!
To me - that's how i think.
1st - He don't know
2nd - He has something to hide (which he knows what's going on and doesn't know how to explain.
3rd - he doesn't even bother.
ZZZZ. Received a number of calls from my friends. I wonder i talked to whom. Cause i did pick up some. I was sleeping. I really wonder what i did then.
I really felt like giving it up. But i think i can't. DUMB.
I put everything to a standstill as I'm so helpless now. Save me from this agony.
Who fits the bill of a bastard? just tell me how you are and what you did. I shall tell you. If you ever want to know. =) Cheers!
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
November 2007
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..