I've finally started being much more myself towards him. yea i think it's some sort of a great improvement? I just do hope that he is really the right one since I've already made the choice.
Anw, to my good friend. It's alright but you know thinking from a girl's point, must have some distance. To prevent any misunderstanding. And I will be alright, no matter how, I gotta be. Do not be stressed as it's only a beginning and it'll be a good one in fact. Have faith.
Cheerios..
I will be meeting him tomorrow. Hope it goes out well...
MONSTER is here.....
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C R U S H
by David Archuleta
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
CRUSH!!!
potter puppet pals!
:D
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
BIENVENUE!
You are at MONSTER's BLOG!!!
To enter the MONSTERRICCC's WORLD...
Pursuing a Diploma of Banking and Financial Services
at Ngee Ann Polytechinc
NP strings
Year 1 student
Music fanatic
A pianist and cellist
020790
Once an Acs-ian ( arts and science student) should say a mix of both
Ex ACCO cellist. Loves her Cliques - the LMAOs(consisting for 2 NJ, 3 AC, 1 NYJ & 1 PJ)
The ACCO people
Class of TF04 in NP
Bestie - Joson
Fader turned Sand - Jackson
Girl that's always there - AnLi
and basically anyone who's always there or secretly there for me.
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18 years old, aren't i?
SPARKS OF EVIL..
This shall be left blank.
T O D O L I S T
13/10 FTT and many more?
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
RANTTSSS
10:16 pm - Saturday, August 30, 2008
2:55 am - Sunday, August 24, 2008
Finally, I've watched Hot Shot (籃球火)! It's awesome. Chiong-ing all the dramas that I've missed.
Missed the fireworks by Korea, but was told that it wasn't as good. Although it was to be a time to put everything behind me, but at the very least I wasn't there.
Branson called me and said he saw me there, I wasn't. At least, he has a nice date there I hope.
To watch the annual fireworks festival, which is the following year. To watch it with you, I'm afraid I'm unable to.
As expected, it wouldn't be a good ending or neither a bad one. Had actually planned to talk about it. But Silence will be the answer to it. I am just too afraid of facing reality. I've been triggered and I do know, quite a few of you wouldn't want me to lead the same old life. Amazingly, it was what my friend, not a friend of mine now though, had tried to send that message across my mind. I'm just shocked that it's him. But why him? It's really unexpected. Somehow, was told that he was being sent by someone else to get me out of it. Like dang, I don't understand. Like seriously, why you're doing this to me.
He's also coping with a better life now I guess, with the one he's often mentioned. All the best to the both of you.
我是命中注定无法和你在一起过美好的生活.
Dude - Why do you often have this hunch? Dont know what hunch, but it seems that whenever I'm down, you'll be the first one to call me. Like when I'm crying, you called at that very instant. Somehow, you've some psychic power? Guess you're the only who've seen my weakest point. My image is like spoiled already. Anyway thanks a lot.
Missed the fireworks by Korea, but was told that it wasn't as good. Although it was to be a time to put everything behind me, but at the very least I wasn't there.
Branson called me and said he saw me there, I wasn't. At least, he has a nice date there I hope.
To watch the annual fireworks festival, which is the following year. To watch it with you, I'm afraid I'm unable to.
As expected, it wouldn't be a good ending or neither a bad one. Had actually planned to talk about it. But Silence will be the answer to it. I am just too afraid of facing reality. I've been triggered and I do know, quite a few of you wouldn't want me to lead the same old life. Amazingly, it was what my friend, not a friend of mine now though, had tried to send that message across my mind. I'm just shocked that it's him. But why him? It's really unexpected. Somehow, was told that he was being sent by someone else to get me out of it. Like dang, I don't understand. Like seriously, why you're doing this to me.
He's also coping with a better life now I guess, with the one he's often mentioned. All the best to the both of you.
我是命中注定无法和你在一起过美好的生活.
Dude - Why do you often have this hunch? Dont know what hunch, but it seems that whenever I'm down, you'll be the first one to call me. Like when I'm crying, you called at that very instant. Somehow, you've some psychic power? Guess you're the only who've seen my weakest point. My image is like spoiled already. Anyway thanks a lot.
5:49 pm - Saturday, August 23, 2008
It's been raining like for 2 days in a row. Sighs. Heaven's crying for me too. haha.
After the long time being out at Little Guilin park, it seems that some of my sorrows are gone, it's cold there but nonetheless it did help me. A little scary though, being out at like 3am till 6am.
Life's gonna be tough for me, and I gotta pull through. Strong nor weak it's all up to me.
A drink or 2 will be a short term solution at the moment, amazingly, I have not resorted to that and even smoking. Great improvement. Applauses for me.
I'm trying so hard to force the impossibilities or the possibilities. Baoying actually set me thinking after she asked about the photo in my wallet. Why? There are times when I do not know where I'm heading to. I guess I'm in a muzzle headed situation.
Monster - you can do it. Find yourself happiness and it shall be granted to you if you search and earn for it. No matter where you're heading to, do not look back and regret. Sometimes, being hard on yourself is the better sacrifice.
Weird it seems, I can't really relate in Chinese, but it seems meaningful, hope this should be understandable. Pardon me.
我一直都在
你身後等待
期待和你有个美好的未来
但是无论怎样
我并不是那美好的将来
我希望那么一天
我们能够
再次相遇...
After the long time being out at Little Guilin park, it seems that some of my sorrows are gone, it's cold there but nonetheless it did help me. A little scary though, being out at like 3am till 6am.
Life's gonna be tough for me, and I gotta pull through. Strong nor weak it's all up to me.
A drink or 2 will be a short term solution at the moment, amazingly, I have not resorted to that and even smoking. Great improvement. Applauses for me.
I'm trying so hard to force the impossibilities or the possibilities. Baoying actually set me thinking after she asked about the photo in my wallet. Why? There are times when I do not know where I'm heading to. I guess I'm in a muzzle headed situation.
Monster - you can do it. Find yourself happiness and it shall be granted to you if you search and earn for it. No matter where you're heading to, do not look back and regret. Sometimes, being hard on yourself is the better sacrifice.
Weird it seems, I can't really relate in Chinese, but it seems meaningful, hope this should be understandable. Pardon me.
我一直都在
你身後等待
期待和你有个美好的未来
但是无论怎样
我并不是那美好的将来
我希望那么一天
我们能够
再次相遇...
1:20 am
its like time out now for me
12:57 am
It should be time where I seriously de-stress myself. Well, I am not. I'm having emotional stress and it adds on further after exams. Setting myself to think even more. I hate the state I am in now. Trying to seek for perfection and also for whatever that may come in the future. I am not being selfish. Yes, maybe I do, false pity, false kind of care and concern that I wanted. But, I do know that I'm not. Sometimes, it's best if I were to have such few friends or even no friends but rely just on my family members. They may not be perfect, but I want them to have a better life. I'm not rich nor poor. I'm just halfway there, which meant that it's even worst. Life's just like that and I would rather sacrifice anything that I have than my family. I may seem to ignore my parents leaving them to worry about me at many times. However, I do know deep down that I do care a lot about the welfare of the family.
Looking back, it's also part of why I left ACJC. Leaving behind the Ac-sian. It takes courage for me. I'm not an ousted student, but a student who quits on herself. Hopefully, my life gets better each day.
Being selfish within my lifespan helps in a manner, but if you're selfish in the wrong manner, please call it a quit.
NOTES:
Joson - Good luck for your prelims and of course you'll do well. Pass me the stuffs when you're ready and I'll tell her when I can pass it over.
Lihui and Kah hwee - All the very best for your prelims too. You guys are really busy now, but at any point of time if you do need a listening ear, I'm all ears to it. Although I do really wanna tell you guys what I'm facing now too. It's tough.
Anli - Your notes will come in a while. Contact you again.
Will be working at Hunter Douglas ( my previous company) again. Thanks to Germaine for calling me at the right time for temp assignment. Cash flow to be solved.
To master my grade 8 pieces well and not let emotions rule me such as to affect my playing. Teacher Kat i'll smile only if everything's solved. Right now, it's a portrayed one.
Looking back, it's also part of why I left ACJC. Leaving behind the Ac-sian. It takes courage for me. I'm not an ousted student, but a student who quits on herself. Hopefully, my life gets better each day.
Being selfish within my lifespan helps in a manner, but if you're selfish in the wrong manner, please call it a quit.
NOTES:
Joson - Good luck for your prelims and of course you'll do well. Pass me the stuffs when you're ready and I'll tell her when I can pass it over.
Lihui and Kah hwee - All the very best for your prelims too. You guys are really busy now, but at any point of time if you do need a listening ear, I'm all ears to it. Although I do really wanna tell you guys what I'm facing now too. It's tough.
Anli - Your notes will come in a while. Contact you again.
Will be working at Hunter Douglas ( my previous company) again. Thanks to Germaine for calling me at the right time for temp assignment. Cash flow to be solved.
To master my grade 8 pieces well and not let emotions rule me such as to affect my playing. Teacher Kat i'll smile only if everything's solved. Right now, it's a portrayed one.
1:59 am - Monday, August 11, 2008
Gosh. Was noted by Marcus that my blog is a little vague plus cliffhangy. He's not the first one to comment on that. I guess, I should divert to something much interesting.
TADAH: The 2008 BEIJING OLYMPICS!!!
The 5 lucky dolls of China for the Beijing Olympics 2008.
This is the National Aquatics Centre at Beijing.
It's really cool. An eye-opener to me. Much more than the Bird-Nest.
The "Water Cube"
The interior
The "Water Cube" and the "Bird's Nest"
It's just a WOAH to me. Unexpectedly, it's because it's in China. I'm quite skeptical to the way they build their structures and also the way they host. I give you 5 stars for your architectural concept.
It isn't that bad for an opening ceremony and on top of that, it is the swimming events that I've been anticipating for. I'm proud to say that Singapore has got a wonderful talent like TAO LI (100m butterfly). 2 time Asian Record at the Olympics in just 2 days. How wonderful!
Although, she's not born here. Well, she's been here like since primary school days? It ain't that bad. I wish her all the best for the finals for today. Singapore is counting on you. Cheers!!!! :)
Basketball: USA won China.
Phelps is indeed awesome, but I can't wait for the 8 Gold Medals from him. Heh!
SINGAPORE'S swimmer Tao Li on Sunday became the first Singaporean to qualify for an Olympic finals.
I urge everyone to watch it!!! No matter where you are, as long as you're a Singaporean, do give her your fullest support. Whatever may be, it will still be a great moment!
5 days. Just 5 more days. Pathetically, I'm not even prepared. I can only say about 50% ready for the exams. Bloody Shit right. I'm feeling a little shit. Was having quite some stress recently though I've laid my attention on other stuffs, like watching TV shows and so on. But, my chest does cramp at times and it happens much more frequently like in the wee hours. hmmms. I shall start to have a healthy living from now on.
Read the bible and I seriously felt a great sense of energy and power that God is always watching over me. Somehow, I'm like the lost sheep. Those of you who're Christians, it's the story on the son who left his dad and spent his riches. He came back at the end and admitted his mistakes.
Conclusion: God is still waiting for my return. I know that deep down in my heart. But, I'm guilty of many stuffs. I've not stood by my faith at certain times and went the other side. Lord, forgive me and I will live by you again.
Sighs... Friends, parents, sisters have been telling me this. I know.... YES! I need time too. As promised will bring Joson to church too. I've not been attending lately, so sorry bestie.
Shall start slogging into my books. Oh dude!!! ah.
Monster will try to improve in many areas. I've made an improvement in certain stuffs. Kind of happy. Which is for my piano lessons, and also appreciating music the way it is once again. As the old saying goes, it's really true for me. ' With love, a musician will be able to play tunes that you've never heard before'. Crap. It is my saying. But, nonetheless, the meaning to it still stays. It is time for me to search for myself and the person engraved in me.
Music will be my life and I didn't lose an interest for it at any point of time.
Me - Fiery? Like a thunderbolt? yea, somehow. A gush of ting ting tells me so.
some random old pics not uploaded. Here it is:
Good night. ;)
TADAH: The 2008 BEIJING OLYMPICS!!!
The 5 lucky dolls of China for the Beijing Olympics 2008.
This is the National Aquatics Centre at Beijing.
It's really cool. An eye-opener to me. Much more than the Bird-Nest.
The "Water Cube"
The interior
The "Water Cube" and the "Bird's Nest"
It's just a WOAH to me. Unexpectedly, it's because it's in China. I'm quite skeptical to the way they build their structures and also the way they host. I give you 5 stars for your architectural concept.
It isn't that bad for an opening ceremony and on top of that, it is the swimming events that I've been anticipating for. I'm proud to say that Singapore has got a wonderful talent like TAO LI (100m butterfly). 2 time Asian Record at the Olympics in just 2 days. How wonderful!
Although, she's not born here. Well, she's been here like since primary school days? It ain't that bad. I wish her all the best for the finals for today. Singapore is counting on you. Cheers!!!! :)
Basketball: USA won China.
Phelps is indeed awesome, but I can't wait for the 8 Gold Medals from him. Heh!
SINGAPORE'S swimmer Tao Li on Sunday became the first Singaporean to qualify for an Olympic finals.
Finishing third in her heats, she clocked 57.54 sec in the women's 100m butterfly.
Her time is a new Asian and national record. She is also the fourth fastest qualifier.
Event
Women's 100m Butterfly Final
Mon Aug 11 Start Time: 10:24 Location: National Aquatics CenterI urge everyone to watch it!!! No matter where you are, as long as you're a Singaporean, do give her your fullest support. Whatever may be, it will still be a great moment!
5 days. Just 5 more days. Pathetically, I'm not even prepared. I can only say about 50% ready for the exams. Bloody Shit right. I'm feeling a little shit. Was having quite some stress recently though I've laid my attention on other stuffs, like watching TV shows and so on. But, my chest does cramp at times and it happens much more frequently like in the wee hours. hmmms. I shall start to have a healthy living from now on.
Read the bible and I seriously felt a great sense of energy and power that God is always watching over me. Somehow, I'm like the lost sheep. Those of you who're Christians, it's the story on the son who left his dad and spent his riches. He came back at the end and admitted his mistakes.
Conclusion: God is still waiting for my return. I know that deep down in my heart. But, I'm guilty of many stuffs. I've not stood by my faith at certain times and went the other side. Lord, forgive me and I will live by you again.
Sighs... Friends, parents, sisters have been telling me this. I know.... YES! I need time too. As promised will bring Joson to church too. I've not been attending lately, so sorry bestie.
Shall start slogging into my books. Oh dude!!! ah.
Monster will try to improve in many areas. I've made an improvement in certain stuffs. Kind of happy. Which is for my piano lessons, and also appreciating music the way it is once again. As the old saying goes, it's really true for me. ' With love, a musician will be able to play tunes that you've never heard before'. Crap. It is my saying. But, nonetheless, the meaning to it still stays. It is time for me to search for myself and the person engraved in me.
Music will be my life and I didn't lose an interest for it at any point of time.
Me - Fiery? Like a thunderbolt? yea, somehow. A gush of ting ting tells me so.
some random old pics not uploaded. Here it is:
Good night. ;)
5:40 am - Thursday, August 07, 2008
My teacher's right. I've been wandering around and it's not time for me to start thinking about all these issues yet. Being 18 may be tough, but I gotta treasure the time that I have now.
I will start to think what I really want in life and where do I stand.
But...
It'll only be after my semester exams I guess. Or maybe after this month.
Trying hard to focus and concentrate. I gotta force myself to.
Somehow, issues have been penetrating my mind and it's really distracting.
DAMN.
Shall work for it then.
I will start to think what I really want in life and where do I stand.
But...
It'll only be after my semester exams I guess. Or maybe after this month.
Trying hard to focus and concentrate. I gotta force myself to.
Somehow, issues have been penetrating my mind and it's really distracting.
DAMN.
Shall work for it then.
10:04 pm - Friday, August 01, 2008
I've finally opened up myself to my piano teacher. She's been right and really wanted to talk to me. And finally we did. So there's no lesson today but rather 2 hours plus of heart to heart talk. Of course, I teared and it's for that long period. Thanks a lot, teacher kath.
Depression and stress kills. I shall learn how to be strong and not be vulnerable to any others.
This is the anti-depressant that I've got.
If there are more stuffs, then I shall blog.
Depression and stress kills. I shall learn how to be strong and not be vulnerable to any others.
This is the anti-depressant that I've got.
If there are more stuffs, then I shall blog.
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
September 2007
November 2007
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
A F F I L I A T E S
the people...
MORE MADNESS TO COME..