Should I be feeling at the top of the world or should I just cast myself right down to the earth?
I am just so mistakenly accused of doing whatever stuffs that leads to another. So what now? My mum doesn't know how i feel, alrights, maybe she does. I do know that she has her concerns and all is well for me. But do you know that, I don't take you all for granted? I don't think highly of myself, if I really did, I would not even respect you even in the worst situation of bearing all consequences on my own. You seriously hurt my feelings at the struck of that moment. I put on that strong and unbeatable armour of mine. It's a heartache for me, do you know that? I know that either one of you would leave at any point of time, which is why I'm working so hard on myself on almost every single issue. Although I do not at certain points, that's because I do have stress too. Don't you remember, I would get a relapse of any of my historic illnesses? It can just strike me like a lightning. You wouldn't want to see an insane daughter right? To many points, I've controlled my emotions, which, isn't a good way. It leads to some kind of emotional madness according to scientific studies. Well, I wish to say no more. That's because, you're still at my utmost priority. I hope that no one would ever treat us like the way they've to our family. No matter how good your conscience is, you're being lashed back instantly for your goodness. The world is totally unfair, the good people don't get the good stuffs in return but guess what? Doubly shits!

Well, my senior called me from Adelaide, whenever I see this word 'unknown' appearing at the buzzing phone of mine, I knew it's her. How I wish I have a nice and wonderful sister like her. She's really great. I'm indeed touched. Because it's pretty expensive to call internationally. Girl, we won't be a distancing away. No worries, whenever I have problems I will just nudge you to tell you in advance alrights?? I wouldn't want anyone to worry about me, especially you, being overseas. Am glad that you did well at your presentation today. Just motivate yourself to do well in your uni economic modules and you'll be good. Don't sleep too late because I know and you know it well too. It's bad for complexion and your health. We both have the same problems I guess. Health issues. hehs. So do take care. I will be here anytime for you too. Just nudge me and i'll be over in a couple. Will call you soon enough, but you gotta give me an early notice.

So.. was talking to her regarding some issues. She's worried about me. That's because of the posts on my blog recently. It's only the few of you that can understand my language. The minimal kind. I'm really happy that it's the few of you. But not so too. Wonder why.. and then her connection got cut off instantly when we're on the hot topic. ahhhh. shall continue again ok. I guess I'm alright. Li Hui and Anli, you girls don't worry too much about me right now. I assure you all, if you don't hear a phone call from me, it means I'm sane emotionally. Deal?
Concentrate on your books people. While I'm here, working through my hols and learning new stuffs at the same time too. See you all soon ok! =D

While working today, some nasty incidents flashed through my mind. It's really destructive and I just tried to distract myself by stopping the works of my brain. Damn. At least I was at work, if not, I wouldn't know what would happen.

Recently, I found a little more of myself.
Things which I didn't know people had looked at me in such a manner.
They are:
1. Hanging loosely around
2. Stuck up with this bloody ego
3. Selfish
4. And then it comes to being selfless too
5. Thinking highly of myself
6. Has no feelings for others
7. Toying of people's feelings
8. Loves to hang with people who loose themselves


I can't really remember much of it. There are more. But there are 2 more to it. I want it to be a top 10 kind of things that I don't know about myself.
So.. Please tell me the other 2 stuffs? I'm really desperate. Maybe the word desperate should enter into the list too.

And yes.. Give some thought to it. Do you want to have friends who are virgins or aren't virgins?
Then I shall continue with the relevant stuffs that had been going through in my mind. It has been there for quite some time. And yea, does peer pressure force you into doing something that may be seriously out of your morales?